Balancing Career And Home Life… Hard Choices.
Life balance.
I’m kind of sick of that phrase. It gets tossed around way too much in my personal opinion. It has begun to sound a little cliche. Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression … I WISH I HAD IT.
I think we all do.
I believe that “life balance” is incredibly different for everyone. My idea of life balance is having joy and peace in my home. I fully realize that is not always possible. (I mean, I have two boys… under the age of 11.) But I do think that a sense of calm and happiness is imperative if I/we (meaning: my family) are going to succeed.
I’ve found that in my home there is one truth (warning – it is also a bit cliche) “If Momma ain’t happy…” I assume you know the rest.
So in my quest to attain that “happy place” for my entire family, I made a bold and radical decision.
I quit my job.
Yep.
QUIT. MY. JOB.
You think I am kidding, don’t you?
To answer your questions… Yes, I am aware of the economy. Yes, I am aware of the implications. Yes, I am aware of my responsibilities.
But most of all, I am aware of those two other little beings who look to me for comfort, love, guidance and protection. I need to be there for them. Mentally, as well as physically. What I can tell you is that the specific job function I was performing (at a wonderful organization, by the way) brought very large amount of stress and anxiety into my life. For the past seven months, I was not a good mother. I was not a good wife. I was not a good friend.
It just didn’t work for me at this time in my life with my circumstances.
Before you include me in your prayer chain (which would actually be okay, now that I am thinking about it) know that I am still working with that organization in a different capacity. One more fit for my needs and talents. One that will allow me to BREATHE. I will also be gathering more work as an independent contractor and consultant, as well as field trip chaperone and classroom party organizer. 
(Check out my about page if you want more info on me professionally.)
Am I nervous about my gamble?
Surprisingly… NO.
I am at peace.
Sometimes to make the right decision, you need to make the “wrong” decision.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
WOW Girly!! BIG HUGS with a really big decision. I hate how we have to have to choose. We’re still women, still Moms and we have to do what we have to do. I think it’s wonderful you were able to see what your family needed and have the ability to do what you wanted to do to make it happen. That truly is one of the best feelings ever.
I applaud you for that! I did the same thing myself a few years ago, asking God the whole time “are your sure about this?” and not knowing until some time later all the reasons why it was the best idea.
Life balance and those claiming they can show you the way to it is like false advertising. It is something that really looks different for everyone- it is being content and able to manage your circumstances.
I will keep you in my prayers and congrats on your brave decision!
Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Hickory Farms Review
Twitter: thenagainphoto
says:
Good for you. It’s all about doing what’s right for your family. Obviously I understand the pull of home. Why do you think I work where I work? I haven’t worked a day in my profession since I got my Master’s degree! Not. One. Day! Because it’s not what’s right for my family. These days I’m starting to feel the itch to branch out a bit and enjoy some personal success as well. But, lucky for them, it’s not really happening for me. You know, the personal success thingy. You gotta tell me your secret! You’ll be fine. Probably even better than fine if I know you at all:)
parenting BY dummies´s last blog ..I Was Right!
Congratulations Jen. I know the peace that decision can bring. It is not easy…EVER…but when you know it’s the right decision you can be confident you’ll get through the challenges. When it’s the wrong decision, the challenges become stifling. Enjoy your classroom party planning and your “breathing”.
Twitter: dipaolamomma
says:
I think it was a BRAVE choice! You’ll ROCK the field trip scene!!!
DiPaola Momma´s last blog ..Talkin’ Trash
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 8:50 AM
Rock the field trip scene, huh? Fabulous idea!
Twitter: chelandria
says:
Jen, you have amazing strength and I can tell by your decisions you draw on that strength to make the right choices (even through the wrong ones). Good luck going forward – sounds like you made a great decision for you and your family.
The field trip scene DOES rock (what better chance to make fun of helicopter soccer moms?!). Jen, I think you made a brave, strong, smart choice. When I finally ‘went back to work’ after being home for a dozen years to my ‘dream job’ as a magazine editor, I ended up quitting after six months to go back home and (the inspiration for my blog name) work in my pajamas while drinking coffee.
Wait until you see the AMAZINGLY cute pajamas out there!
And P.S.? You’ve ALWAYS been an amazing friend.
@marymac´s last blog ..Great Interview Experiment
Twitter: unemployed_mom
says:
Good for you! You made a decision based on what was best for you and your family which is most important girl! I applaud you for this. I am sure your boys are happy to have their mom 24/7! So, can I consider you an unemployed mom, too.
When I was laid off, my son was 5 months old. I had just returned from maternity leave so he was literally in daycare for only 8 weeks but it was the worst 2 months of my life! I missed so much of his little life and was miserable! My family never would have made the decision for me to stay home because…well, we needed the money to pay bills! Anyway, my job loss turned out to be the biggest blessing ever. It has taken major financial adjustments but my son has been worth it.
I use eBay to supplement my income. When my son is older, I plan to contract and do some independent work, but for now…he’s a toddler (aka MONSTER) and requires 24/7 attention!
GOOD LUCK!
Jessica (The Unemployed Mom)´s last blog ..eBay Shopping Tips
Congrats on your new path! It sounds like your old job was a bad fit for you. That can happen to anyone — whether they are a mother or not. Still, it seems like in today’s culture, women are expected to do everything: wife, mother, career woman, housekeeper, laundress, hostess, etc. (And smile through our 18-hour work days.) We should be blissfully happy all the time, right? After all, we made these decisions, we have “choices.”
When I was a kid, my mom and dad both worked. But they came home at 5:00 and didn’t do any more work until 8:00 or 9:00 the next morning. Now we’re connected and on-call all of the time. There’s no off-time and employers expect you to work in the evenings and on weekends (for no extra pay). How did we get here? And what can we do about it?
Sorry for the soap box, but this is a subject I think a lot about. Good for you! I wish you all the best.
Twitter: mammamania
says:
Cathy – That was my biggest problem – nights, weekends, early mornings and it was poised to increase in 2010. A decision had to be made, you know? I have no idea how we (society) got here. But quality of life is important. Period.
Good for you!! That’s awesome
Michelle´s last blog ..♥Special.
Right before I had kids, I read the book, It’s Not the Glass Ceiling, It’s the Sticky Floors by Rebecca Shambough. (I highly recommend the book). One of the things she said was that your kids are going to need you more at 12, 13, 14, 15 than they need you at 2,3,4,5. I’ve been trying to design my career around that notion.
In other words, what I’m trying to say is that I hope to be doing what you are doing in 5 years.
Best of luck to you.
Twitter: 1momof5
says:
What more can you ask for if you are feeling at peace with the decision. Last year, we committed financial suicide when we decided that my husband would quite is 6 figure job and start a business that was a dream of his. A year without an income….”in production”….with creditors at our backs was not easy. It was pure torture, in fact, that took a lot out of both of us. We are not out of it quite yet but we are on the road to recovery, and most importantly, the business is doing well (in the big picture). The thing that helped me stick with it and endure was that incredible sense of peace that came as soon as we made the decision to jump in with both feet. It didn’t make logical sense to do it, but we felt like it was what we needed to do. And it sounds like you’re in the same boat. it may not make sense, but it sounds like you’re doing the right thing for you and your family. Bravo!
There is no more important job than field trip chaperone and classroom party organizer. You are giving your boys a huge gift by doing this. So happy for you!!
Wow, what a big decision! I’m so happy for you! I will certainly keep you in my prayers.
Heather @ CSAHM´s last blog ..What is the History of Christmas?
Kudos to you for making such a hard decision. I also have 2 boys of similar ages and have felt the need from time to time to spread my own wings only to find that I can only spread them so far without my little guys falling out from under them. They still need me as much as they did when they were little. Good luck through this new phase!
Courtney´s last blog ..I Believe…It is December
Good for you! A very brave move. I hope it brings you exactly what you’re looking for.
Twitter: brennbug
says:
I left my job at a large IP law firm in Denver a little over a year ago and never looked back!
The company was a GREAT place to work! They had tons of fringe benefits. Heck they even flew me and hubby out to San Francisco for a fancy holiday party, all expenses paid.
The specific job was a not a good fit for me. I was so overtired and stressed that I was a horrible mother and wife. I swear I was on the nerve of a breakdown everyday.
Leaving that job and the fincial security it provided as well as benefits such as health insurance was a risky move for me.
It was worth it! I was able to be home with kids and watch a child in my home and earn income on the side. When we moved to Maryland I looked into to professional jobs but the pay was not worth the costs for me both for daycare and stress. Instead I now nanny 36 hours per week 4 days per week. My bosses both work for the school district and I follow my children’s schedule. Once you subtract for daycare and commuting costs my net pay as a nanny is actually more than at the law firm.
I still struggle with balance with the sheer chaos of managing a household of 5 people. From all the kids activities, to meal planning, and laundry, and chores, running a household is a more than full-time job but you do what you have to do and try to find balance where you can.
Best of luck to you! And congratulations on making a decision that works for both you and your family.
I would love to stay at home, but I am a single mom. If Brian and I get married, I could work part time (while the kids are in school) but I truly believe kids benefit from being home with a parent, if it is at all possible.
So, I say, Good for you. Your boys are lucky (not so) little boys.
Becky´s last blog ..Post of the Week
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Awesome.
I am so glad you were able to make the right decision for you and your family. That is HUGE.
We all struggle with “life balance” and I am a huuuuge proponent of making sure when you work for yourself that you also take time for yourself. It’s hard to do, and you might feel guilty, but I really encourage you to “indulge” once in awhile and take it all in.
Congrats, lady! A big step! An exciting step!
We are seriously looking at ways to keep me home. Getting laid off has hurt financially, but really, it has made my children soooooooo much happier. My hubs too, even though I found blogging
and other things to occupy my time. They are all happier. My husband actually said he would rather file personal bankruptcy than see me go back to work. We shall see.
GOOD LUCK with you new endeavors. I think it is a BRAVE move!
Adrienzgirl´s last blog ..WTF? Wednesday
Twitter: kevinbruce
says:
I’m very proud, happy and jealous for you! I’m sure this will be one of the best decisions that you could make. Your kids will never be this age again, you will never be this young again, and you have the world before you! Work will always be there to be had!
Best wishes, JennieG
Kevin Bruce´s last blog ..PHP5 – Recreating .NET’s membership password hash algorithm
I think it is awesome!!!!