Another wonderful guest post from hip mamma Kris B. Kris is mom to Ben (7) and Jake (2)Kris B & Family!. Read her first post here.

My Thoughts On Your “Bum.”

So, I?pull up at the stop light by my house to find myself behind a mini-van with several “bum” per stickers. (I?say “bum” per stickers because that’s really what it is, the “bum” of the car. I’m not English, nor have any English blood in me, but for some reason I’ve taught my 7 year old son to use that word instead of “butt.” It just sounds nicer to me for some reason. )

Any way, that is what it is, the “bum” of the car. Most often, these bums, have something to say, right? Truly, I love a car with bumper stickers! It gives you something to do at a stop light or even just a reason to tailgate as close as you can to the car in front of you so you can read it all. (And it gets me every time when their sticker says “If you can read this you’re too close to my bumper” or something to that effect. I?always get upset and I back off) And I hate when a car pulls off and I didn’t get to finish reading their bum! That’s a bummer. (Ha ha! Sorry for the pun!)

What’s my point in all of this?

There are a few stickers that I feel are just no fun and pointless. I’m sure I’m about to offend some mom out there with her kid’s name and football number on the back of her car, but here goes… My least favorite stickers (and ultimately the point of this blog) are those that tell me who and what are in the family and what activities the kids do.

You’ve seen them. You know, the little stick figures – the mom, the dad, the little boy with the baseball hat (on sideways), the little girl with pigtails, the baby, the dog, the cat, yadda, yadda, yadda in ascending order across the back window. I mean, yeah, I’m proud of my family and who’s in it, but do YOU care? It really has no point. “Oh look, there they are again, the stick figure family. Wow they look just like that other stick figure family minus the little boy on the back of that SUV.”

And now they’re getting clever, like with the little flip flops in different sizes instead of the stick figures. Huh? Come on. Then there are the cars that have a shadow figure playing a sport, like lacrosse or a girl cheerleading, or dancing, or someone playing soccer. As if to tell the world “Look at me, I?have four kids who all play these different sports and I?live in my car racing them around to all of their activities. What activities? Well these right here on the bum of my car, can’t you see?” Interestingly enough, when I?pull up next to these people, they’re always on the phone. Probably making car-pool arrangements.

Some even go so far as to give us their kid’s jersey number. Just in case I?happen to be at that sporting event for that team and then I?can cheer for them. “Hey there’s Jeremy, number 26, I?see his mom all the time around town. Yay, go Jeremy!” Perhaps they have one with a stick figure kid sitting in TIME OUT since that seems to be my child’s greatest skill at the moment. And what about the parents? Are there any stickers that have a woman folding laundry or making dinner or vacuuming? Hmm…. Maybe I could put that one on my car?

The point? Do YOU?REALLY care about how many kids are in my family, or what pets we have or what sports I’m busy shuttling them around to, or even what their jersey number is? (Which by the way will probably change next season, then what?) All I’m saying is if your bum’s going to speak, give me something good. Something to make me smile, something for me to think about as you drive away. Something that gets me fired up when I’m of the opposing view, some reason to get extra angry with you when you don’t use your blinker. Or a reason to automatically like you when I agree with what your bum is saying, “Yes. I feel the same way as you, Mr. Blue Ford Explorer. You have yourself a good day today.”

Oh, anywho, the greatest lesson I’ve learned about parenthood is to never judge another parent who’s further along in the process then you are. And I constantly find myself biting my tongue with this. So, perhaps I should take my own advice now. Who knows, maybe when my kid gets to be on the high school baseball team, you’ll see me driving around with a baseball player sticker on the bum of my car and, of course, I’ll give you his jersey number, just in case!