Dear Potential Facebook Pal,
Hiya! Remember me? We went to high school together!
Won’t you be my FRIEND?
Oh. Um, hello? Are you there?
Sorry to bug you but, like, I saw that you’ve been posting on all of our mutual friend’s pages and well, I thought perhaps that you didn’t see my request. It is probably buried underneath your farm requests or causes or something like that.
So, how about being my FRIEND, now?
Hi?! Um, yes, I am still here. I thought I would try again. It’s been a couple of weeks, you know? Maybe you didn’t see me. Oh, no probably it is because you don’t recognize my married name.
Yeah, it is me. We went to PROM together. PROM?! Um, when you were a senior and I was a freshman? Ringing a bell here? Dude, I totally have pictures to prove it.
Would you like to be FRIENDS, now?
Hello? See, normally I wouldn’t care about this but I am getting the feeling that perhaps you are ignorning me ON PURPOSE. You wouldn’t do that, would you?
Okay, let’s try this again. Won’t you be my FRIEND??!!!
Obviously you are very selective about whom you are friends with. Perhaps I am a distant memory? Perhaps you are keeping your circle really tight, huh? I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
Okay… Whatever. I just found out that you have 1,200 friends. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?
WE WENT TO PROM TOGETHER!!! HELLO?!
Why won’t you be my FRIEND?
Seriously? You know, this type of thing would not normally bother me except for the fact that I now have confirmation that you are IGNORING MY FRIEND REQUESTS. (Dude, you have 1,200 friends!!! You can’t be THAT selective.) This is just not acceptable.
I must have really, really pissed you off in high school.
BTW – At least I am still younger than you. Not that I am bitter or anything.