Enjoy this blog from my pal Amanda… wife, mother and fab blogger. Amanda is mom to three (OMG – THREE!) boys – 7, 4 and 17 months. Amanda also writes a two blogs – one for the Frederick News Post called Maybe Mommy’s a Dummy and the other Parenting by Dummies. Hilarious!Amanda's Clan
I have some serious beef with spammers.

I, like every email address owning individual, has been putting up with random emails from random people about random things that I don’t care about for years. 

But, now that I’m kind of a big deal (and by big deal I mean that I have 5 different email accounts so that I can direct random people to various places so that I can more easily ignore them), I have been inundated with random email spammers.
I hate it.

However, I am curious about a few spam related things.

First off, who pays you people, and why?

Everyone has a spam folder these days so that we don’t even have to see what you are sending us, let alone read it and risk being reeled into some heart wrenching story about your nonexistent family who got trapped in Uganda when you sought refuge in America.

So, I don’t understand who actually pays you a salary to sit at home in Uzbekistan and send out these annoying messages to random people.  Please tell me that people don’t still fall for them, and actually send you cash.

No one can still believe that you are really trying to raise funds to extract your family from your war torn country.  And, even in the remote chance that someone does believe that you are honestly seeking support so that you may save your daughter from slavery, I’m seriously hoping that they leave you to your own devices.  I mean, if you could organize a plan to flee your despot ruled country on your own, and make it thousands of miles across a sea to the open armed safety of the great US of A, I’m pretty sure you can figure out how to get back and reunite with your long lost daughter.  And, if you can’t, too bad.  Shouldn’t have left without your kid, man.

Not trying to be cold or heartless, but seriously.  Do people really believe you

Which leads me to my second question: Do people really believe you?

Who, in their right mind, believes that they have won 1 million pounds from the lotto?

Did you buy a lottery ticket in Britain?  Because I didn’t.

And, who, in their right mind, still goes for that my-long-lost-uncle-died-and-left-some-money-so-give-me-your-bank-info-and-I-will-deposit-it-and-let-you-keep-some. 

Who is dumb enough, and shady enough to agree to that?

Even if it were a real person who was going to honestly deposit the cash and give you a cut for your help, is that not a suspicious sounding set up anyway?  Really, if the money was actually intended for him or her, and they were truly entitled to get it, don’t you think they would maybe go about it in the traditional way as opposed to asking some random stranger to put it in their bank account for them?

I’m a pretty trusting chick, but no way I’m putting over a million bucks into someone else’s account to “hold” for me.

Sounds to me like even if it were an honest “opportunity”, you are kinda helping someone break the law.  And, maybe you’re okay with that.  And, if you are, fine.  But, you don’t get to be all ticked off and outraged when you find that not only did Professor Zimbadu from Sweden (um, yeah right) not deposit one red Krona in your account, he also helped himself to the $68.29 you had in there yourself. 

Your bad.

You clicked on it, you went for it, so you kinda asked for it.  But, I didn’t.

And, maybe when you see my email address you can’t tell that I’m a happily married, SAHM of three small children, who is not a porn addicted freak.

I’ll give you that.  But, what about Twitter?

Obviously, anyone can look at my profile (@thenagainphoto if you wanna know!), click on my link, and discover these things about me.

So, I just don’t understand why I keep getting the most ridiculous porn promoters following me on Twitter.

I’m really tired of blocking them.  Multiple times per day.  Every single day.

I know I could just leave them alone, and let them follow me as I change diapers, set up summertime activities, and try to take over the world.  But, I don’t want other people to think I’m into that, and I don’t want to give other spammers the idea that I’d be a good target.

Because I’m not.  I’m not into watching some male version of Britney Spears engage in some salacious activities with the female version of Orland Bloom.  No, thank you.

So, here is my expert advice to spammers: Do your research. You would waste much less time if you stop sending your junk to people like me. A little market analysis wouldn’t hurt; help you figure out who your target audience is.

Oh, and one other thing.  LEAVE ME ALONE!