When it comes to my kids, I have a secret. Well, actually, I have a couple.
I am ashamed to admit it, but there are a couple things that I do for my kids that are totally UNCALLED FOR.
There is no need for me to do them. I totally realize that my kids are growing up and that I need to promote their independence.
No need to preach, I GET IT.
But still, I find myself performing some of the same tasks day in and out that I KNOW that they should be able to do by now. For example:
START THEIR APPLES– This is stupid. But, okay, here it is. When my kids want to eat an apple they still ask me to start it for them. What I mean is, well… they want me to take the first bite for them. They claim it is too hard. Yes, I know they are lying through their little Chicklet-sized teeth. I know what they really need is to “man up” and conquer the apple on their own. I know that it is clearly a toddler right of passage and that my boys are technically the “big kids on the bus.” Shut up.
SLEEP WITH THEM – I don’t do it all the time, alright? Okay, who am I kidding? There are many a night that you will find me curled up under my (um, I mean THEIR) blue dinosaur covers waiting for sleep to engulf me while my poor husband spends the evening watching Rocky movies shivers all lonely-like and forgotten in the parent’s room.
PUT THEIR SHOES ON– Oh holy moley, people. Don’t get all shocked on me here. Sometimes it is just easier AND FLIPPIN’ FASTER than waiting for the little monsters to accomplish it on their own. I just want to get out the door, okay? Is that too much to ask? I just want to get out the door and to work on time, or to the grocery store this year, or to the pool before night falls. Am I asking too much?
DRY & DRESS THEM – Now, in my defense, this is purely a survival technique. If I don’t dry them off and dress them immediately after they shower then we will have nothing less than screaming, wet, naked banshees streaking through the neighborhood house for the rest of the night. Boys love to be naked. And they love to scream. And to run. It is the stuff of nightmares. I have to put the kibosh on it before all hell breaks loose. Really, it is for your protection. Not mine.
So there you have it.
Now you know.