Held Together By A Band-Aid and a Sharpe

It is always interesting to me to see a very sharply dressed woman with all the right accessories. Hand bags that match shoes. Perfect nails. Perfect hair. Upon meeting this woman the first thing I assume is that SHE HAS NO CHILDREN. I am usually right.

Every once in awhile I meet someone who meets the above criteria and has multiple offspring.  My first reaction – “Wow!” My second – “Damn! Apparently, it IS possible. There goes my kid excuse.”

My question for you is… How do these ladies do it? How do they manage to look so put together? So… in CONTROL?

I can offer no explanation for this phenomenon. I mean, I TRY to project the oh-yeah-I’ve-got-it-under-control image. That “I’ve got it together” look.  And I suspect that it may work from time to time.  I may make it out of the house looking as if I am ready to go out into the workforce.

But if you look a little closer you will discover that my black shoes have been touched up by a Sharpe. (Ran out of shoe polish. Shoes are 5 years old and came from Wal-Mart. Can’t afford new ones. Even if I could I have NO TIME!) My earrings are a bit tarnished. (Bought for $3 at a close-out sale last season.) My skirt may look nice and pressed. (Christmas gift from my mother-in-law. Sprayed with a water bottle 10 minutes before I left in a frenzy after the kids missed the bus.) My shirt may match. (Given to me by my sister who no longer wants it because it is out of style.) My hair is up and professional. (Threw it up in a clip when I ran out of time because the kids were not eating the breakfast I made for them but instead wanted an entirely new entre selection.) My nails are short and polished in a nice conservative neutral color. (Only polished them because I bit them off during a late night work session. The band-aid is covering up a nail bed that I chewed until it bled.) My files are in a black briefcase. (Mom bought it for me because she felt that the gym bag I was carrying around was inappropriate for shuffling papers back and forth to work. In addition to work papers it also houses various action figures the kids have hidden.)

As you can tell, being put together for me is a bit of an illusion. Seriously.  Please don’t look too close. I am actually held together by a band-aid and a sharpe.

4 Responses to "Held Together By A Band-Aid and a Sharpe"

  1. CDScott
    CDScott 1839 days ago .

    I am suspicious of people who have it together too well…only people with “handlers” should have it that glued together. I like my people with their idiosyncrasies showing.

  2. Jennifer
    Jennifer 1839 days ago .

    I totally agree! Where can I get one of those fancy handlers????

  3. kevinbruce
    kevinbruce 1837 days ago .

    My guess is: $$ = daycare = time = $$ …

  4. Gail Richards
    Gail Richards 1836 days ago .

    We are all held together with band-aids and sharpies – some just mask it better than others. And I must say – you mask it well. :)