I think this admission may be a bit obvious. Right now, at this moment, I am at a place of just… B L A H.

I feel like blah. I look like blah. I have the motivation of blah.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

What I DO KNOW is that I have settled into somewhat of a rut. I have no passion. I have no desire. I have no conviction. I blame a lot of this on my running injury. I’ve come to realize that running filled a place inside of me that I didn’t expect. I had no idea how empty or lost I would feel without it.

I miss it.

I miss the wind in my hair. I miss my iPod and my silly running mix.  I miss my training partners.  I miss GU. But most of all, I miss the person that I used to be. I miss that happy, free- spirited gal that people wanted to be around. You know what I think?  I think that my running made me feel special, somehow.  Made me feel like I was different from everyone else. Now I am kind of lost. I don’t really feel special anymore. And THAT is a bad thing.

Or is it?

I really shouldn’t be feeling this way after only two months.  It is ridiculous. It makes me wonder if perhaps I used my running as a crutch or as a surrogate?  Not that I know what FOR, exactly…

I just feel like I have lost my marbles somewhere and I can’t find them. Anyone out there know where they are?