My Son Brought A Rat Into Church Today
My son almost dropped a rat into the communion wafers today.
I wish I were kidding.
Somewhere between me dropping him off for Sunday school and our attending Mass, my son was given a small fake rat by one of his friends.
That’s right. A RAT.
Why?
Um, why do little boys do anything like that? WHO THE HECK KNOWS!?
I wasn’t privy to this information until midway through the church service. In all reality, I should have known something was up. He was being entirely too quiet in church. Not that he is unruly normally, he is just a tad on the fidgety and whiny side.
Today he was SILENT. And, obviously, occupied.
So once I figured out what in the heck was going on (meaning: what he was up to) it was time for communion. Of course I hissed at him to put it in his pocket. To which he ignored me and stuffed it up his shirt sleeve instead. BECAUSE HE TOTALLY KNOWS BETTER THAN ME, OF COURSE.
Is anyone out there Catholic? Or perhaps, knows something about taking communion in church?
So, you know that part of the service when you are supposed to cup your hands together and receive the communion wafer? Well, I’m just wondering if it is considered a bad thing if your child is holding a small rodent in his hands at the same time that the communion wafer happens to be placed there. Because I am pretty sure that happened to me today.
Yes. I am such a proud mother right now.
I guess it could have been worse. He could have dropped the sucker into the bowl of communion wafers.
I have a feeling that I am going to get pulled into the priest’s office next week.
That. is. awesome. Oh lady, I am glad I am not the only one with little boys. AND, why do they get quiet right before they strike?
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Yes, I’m Catholic AND I used to work for the Diocese of San Jose, CA. In the fall of 2000, my children were attending a local Catholic school that just finished construction of a new wing. Let’s face it, Catholics will look for any reason to pray and/or bless snything. Extra special prays were required for this occasion, so they brought in the brand new bishop. Bishop McGrath had been at the diocese for all of maybe two weeks–and did I mention that I reported directly to him!? At this very special blessing they even brought in fancy cookies (the ones that have to be ordered from a bakery) AND sparkling apple cider. Yummy! Everybody loves sparkling apple cider–especially 5 year old pre-kindergarten boys, right? Well there I am chatting it up with my new boss–his Irish brogue was SO great to listen to–and the ultra prim and proper school principal. My son was slurping down his fourth or fifth glass of the sweet bubbly, and suddenly let’s out THE BIGGEST BELCH I’VE EVER HEARD!!! Feeling mortified, I say “Oh my God!” Not gosh. Not goodness. In front of Bishop McGrath I used the Lord’s name in vain. Mrs. Prim and Proper Principal is staring at both my son and me with her mouth wide open. I’m absolutely certain that I’m going to be fired AND ex-communicated. Bishop McGrath lets out a hearty laugh and says, “Done like a true Irishman, Matthew! In Ireland a sound that big is a compliment to the chef!” My little one is licking the last drops of cider while smacking his lips together and says, “Yeaaaaa…it wss good!” It was a real happy ending: I got to keep my job!
God likes the rats too! (or does he?). SO FUNNY! You have to give him a rat the day of his wedding or work it into the ceremony somehow!
Having been catholic at some point in my life, I am ROLLING thinking about the implications here. And also wondering if any of the altar boys ever had a rat up their long bell shaped sleeves…
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Oh my goodness! This is too funny; I’ve heard it all now. Glad I stumbled upon your blog!
Oh my gosh..that’s awesome! Girl, you need a drink!
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Oh, the trauma! Because it wasn’t me I had to laugh…
Boys are something else, aren’t they?? Makes for good blog material though!
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says:
I was raised Catholic as a small child and still have several Catholic family members. Needless to say I have been to my share of Catholic masses.
This cracks me up! I would’ve loved to see the look on the priests face as he placed the communion in your son’s hands along side the rat.
Kids are great!
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