Just Being Honest, Sometimes You People Worry Me
I need to be a little raw and honest with everyone today. Sometimes you people worry me.
Not in a stalker kind of way but in an ohmygoshithinkiamembarrassingmyself (?) kind of way.
It is frightening. You know what I kind of wish?
I wish I didn’t know you. Okay, well, many of you I DON’T. But still.
Many of you I DO. And that is exactly why I worry.
Because, really. What do you think of me? (Seriously, don’t answer that.) I wonder this sometimes.
I mean, I love that many of my friends read this blog. I also hate that many of my friends read this blog. I guess it is because I wonder if I am truly entertaining or engaging or worth your time? Or what if I am something WORSE? What if you are thinking to yourself, “Sheesh. I can’t BELIEVE she wrote that. I would never tell people that about my life. She is making a total ass out of herself. Somebody should tell her.”
So, is there something that you want to tell me people?
I’m not trying to beg for compliments here…. you are misunderstanding me. It is just that I DO sometimes try to be entertaining and other times I try to be inspiring. Other times I just share frustrations.
I guess that a small part of me is that insecure teenager who really wants to be cool and be liked and hopes that she is acting like she knows what she is doing when really she is flying by the seat of her pants and pretending that she knows her way around the school. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.
Does any of this make any sense to anybody?
Why did I write this particular blog post, anyway? Just trying to be honest, I guess.
Twitter: bethschillaci
says:
One of the reasons I read your blog is because you are so open and honest about your life. You also bring such a positive slant to even the most challenging topics. You are not alone in your feeling to be liked, I’m 100% guilty of it. Keep up the good work. We like you know matter what
Beth Schillaci´s last blog ..Social Media in Action: DynPort Vaccine Company LLC
People read because you are good! But I feel the same way sometimes. I think maybe I shouldn’t of said fuck, or talked about my cervix! I ask myself am I wasting my time trying to be funny? IS anybody even reading this? You are awesome, don’t let your head get in the way of that!
oxoxox mommyspaceblog
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I think a lot of people feel that way. I know I do. There are times when I write and just let the words come without thinking about how others will read it. And I find those honest posts are the ones I get the most feedback on because there is usually someone out there that can relate. And if they can’t, well who are they to judge?
You know, I knew you when you were an “insecure teenager who really wants to be cool and be liked and hopes that she is acting like she knows what she is doing when really she is flying by the seat of her pants and pretending that she knows her way around the school.” I read your blog because ALL of us are, in som small way, still that kid and at the same time grown up with big-people lives and issues. Sometimes I wonder “how did she know I was struggling with that”? I thought at first it was because we grew up in the same area and had the same classes and ran with the same people. Now I know that moms all across the country are on the same playing field (at least most of us are) and that give me peace as I go through my day. I can look around at strangers and say “We’re not so different from one another”, sort of a sisterhood. So, worry not, you bringer of peace and sisterhood! Great work Jennifer! Cindy
Geesh. Why do you care what anyone thinks about you !
Just do what you do and do your best.
I second what Cindy said! We grew up together and you are entertaining and inspiring! I have always thought that of you, that is why I wanted to be your friend in 6th grade! Chin up, I love reading your blog!
Twitter: dipaolamomma
says:
Being “that” girl is something I think we carry with us for the rest of our lives. It doesn’t help when we run into “the head cheerleader” as grown ups either. I’ve found myself questioning why I blog, grappling with the amount of myself I put out there for strangers. In the end I think, even though I say this very tongue and cheek on my blog, it is cheaper than therapy. For creative people it’s sort of a catharsis. And babe you are one of the most creative people I know. If nothing EVER came of any of my online or writing ventures I became friends with you because of it and that made it all worth while. As for people who know you reading your blog.. I say to know you is to adore you and if they don’t adore the bloggy you well then they can stop reading.
DiPaola Momma´s last blog ..Stopping in with a winner and words of wisdom
Silly Jen. We love you. Well I can’t speak for the others, but I do. I don’t care for perfection, never really have. And I don’t like fronts, AT ALL. You do not pretend to be that which you are not. It’s just you. I appreciate the inspiring you, the messy you and the funny you. It makes you relate well with the rest of us who just try to keep it together daily!
Rest easy, because you are the best you that you can be, and if others don’t like it, well they were never really your “friend” anyway!
Adrienzgirl´s last blog ..Memoir Monday: A Sign, A Drunk, and The Po-Po
Twitter: MammaMania
says:
Seriously, guys? I feel much less intimidated. I didn’t expect all of the comments. What wonderful things you all had to say! Overwhelmed and encouraged to SAY THE LEAST… Thank you!
A small part — the insecure teenager? Some days it’s a big part — maybe even the little girl.
What I liked about this post is that you felt honest — in a way that we could relate to — but not feel that there was too much information.
One of the real risks with blogs is that we sugarcoat so much that our children won’t really know who we are. Maybe you’ll appreciate this post I wrote after reading Susan Crook’s The Night Journal.
http://daretodream.typepad.com/weblog/2008/01/susan-crooks-th.html
My best.
Hey…if someone actually feels that way about you. Tell them to bugger off! They shouldn’t be reading your blog anyway! Get out of here and leave room for those of us who love ya!!
Jenny 867-5309´s last blog ..Saturday morning reading
Yeah, attending Blog High can be hell on some days. “Am I not popular enough to @ her on twitter?” Ugh. I try not to care, but it’s hard. On the day I really got fed up with it I wrote the “eff your clique” post:
http://www.pajamasandcoffee.com/?p=626
and I felt better but some days I still let myself care if someone ‘@’s’ me back on twitter- just today I said I’m declaring a moratorium on “@ing” people who never respond- why invite/be vulnerable to hurt feelings?
We’re all in the same boat, JG. Your blog is da bomb. Everyone who reads it loves you- I love you because you are as cool IRL as you are on the interwebs. Screw the haters.
(Do you know how hard it is for me to post comments on your blog without using cusswords? Cause I know how much you hate them but I am sooo trashy- it’s a challenge! lol)
HUGS!
@marymac´s last blog ..Happy Anniversary, Honey
I feel the same way…especially dealing with my depression and some of the things related to that. I wonder if I’ve gone too far, if maybe I shouldn’t have said that? But then I publish anyway and in the end, I’m usually gald I did because I get such inspirational comments from my readers. Sometimes I post things that I regret, but someone always says something that makes feel better about it. I wish I knew so many nice people in real life!:)
Your blog is awesome, by the way. Have no fear!
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