This is a rant. Consider yourself warned.

I am tired of people assuming that I can’t cook.  I CAN cook. I really can.  I kinda wish I couldn’t. I’m not kidding. Because if  I COULDN’T cook, then I wouldn’t have to feed people all day long every single day. 

Basically I have enough cooking skills to NOT kill my family and to NOT to force us into bankruptcy from continuous fast food runs. NOT! Which stinks, you know?  I know just enough to get me by and make me the primary chef in the house.  Oh joy oh joy oh joy.

What I can’t do is create a culinary masterpiece or even, err… a pie.  In my house there is simply no need to have ingredients like baking soda, flour or molassas hanging around.  Seriously, I have no idea what would I use those for.  I buy them every once in awhile for a random recipe (usually around Christmas) and then banish them to the back of the cupboard until they go bad.  My sister is always running out of these ingredients because apparently she knows how to use them.  Either that or she is trying to play mind games on me. 

Hold the phone… are you actually SNICKERING at me?  What?! You’ve got some reason to stock baking soda?  Is that it?

People, is is not because I don’t want to do it.  Oh no.  I just don’t have TIME to devote to reading a recipe and experimenting with various flavors and textures of food.  Oh how I wish a were a foodie!  One of my secret (Well, not anymore!) ambitions is to become a tremendous cook.  But I think that family position was filled by my sister.  According to my friends and relatives, I just know how to “warm dough.”

Can’t I just get an “A” for effort?  You know, one of these days I am going to make one hell of a meal and amaze the world.  I’ll have my 15 minutes of foodie fame and never again will people ask me if I know how to boil water.

Let’s get realistic… that is not gonna happen. Ever. (BTW – Contrary to what you may be assuming, this post was not inspired by my husband. Even though he can also cook better than I. Darn brat.)