This is an official warning.  Stay away from me until April 4th.  I might need to be quarantined. I am DANGEROUS to be around.

Why?  (Ahem) I gave up BREAD for Lent.

I have no idea why.  Well, obviously I have an IDEA why but I still don’t know why I chose bread.  Did I mention that I also gave up DESSERT?

I. AM. AN. IDIOT.

I know, okay. I KNOW! But it sounded good at the time.  I was all proud of myself for my “sacrifice.”  I knew that by giving up those two things that I would really feel the impact of my decision.  That I would really feel good about avoiding those two very common dietary staples in the name of the Lenten season.  (Think what you want veggie eaters. They are BOTH staples in my house.)

I. AM. AN. IDIOT.

A mere two days into it I ordered a hummus bagel for lunch.  Only after it was served did I realize that bagels are bread. DUH! So I scraped off the hummus, tomato and onion, threw away the bagel and fumed at my lack of an IQ while I licked the plate.

You wanna know what else this Mensa member gave up?  YELLING.  Oh, yeah.  You read right. YELLING.

Now I can’t even YELL about what an IDIOT I am for giving up bread and dessert.

One more time – I. AM. AN. IDIOT.

On the other hand, maybe not.

You see, one thing I did NOT GIVE UP is wine.  Have you figured out where I am going with this? Hey, don’t judge.  Jesus turned water into wine.  Remember?

So although I may be a crabby, bread and sugar deprived crazy woman, at least I will be too drunk to remember it!