Hello everyone, I am Dumb Mom (yes, THE Dumb Mom), and Im here representing the bestes blog eva parenting BY dummies.
I have been an active member of the blogging community since December, 2008, which means I am coming up on my 18 month blog-a-versary.
I have experienced some success with my blog (you know stuff that matters like followers, traffic, comments, Google page rank), but nothing to really write home about (not that I have to since my mother stalks my blog shamelessly).
But, I havent gotten to the point where I feel accomplished or truly successful as a blogger (aka the point at which the money begins to roll in).
Dont get me wrong, I dont live in Crazy Blogger Delisuionalville so I know that Im not likely to be the next Dooce (no PPD ravings here) or the next Pioneer Woman (no sexy cowboy hubby either), but you know, I kinda would like to be a respected member of the blogging community.
And, Im sorta sick of waiting for my content to make it happen for me.
Plus, I dont know anybody (cause you know, blogging, like real life, is a lot about who you know), at least not anybody who likes me wants to let me ride their coattails to the top support my brand.
So I came up with a new plan.
A plan to ensure blog-world domination in as little as 6 weeks.
A genius plan really.
To eliminate to competition and make people like me catapult me to the top.
Thats right people, B-U-Y-I-N-G them.
I figured that one of the main obstacles standing in the way of my become-a-popular-blogger-so-people-will-pay-me plan is that the market is becoming a bit saturated.
Its getting too hard to have a blog.
And. You need a niche.
A niche that is supported by good content.
I dont have a niche (unless you call being a suckit mom who is strangely funny a niche), or time to think about my brand, or brains to master SEO.
So, Im taking the easy way out MONEY.
It may not be able to buy you love (which Im not sure I agree with) but it can buy you blogs, because everyone needs it and most of us like it (which is more than I can say for my blog).
So the other night when I sat down to do my figuring, I figured that what I need to do is get some cash, find some in-the-market-for-some-cash bloggers, and give it to them to to go away let me be the creative director on their sites.
Basically they post about me and me related material and all is well.
And, guess what?!
Ive turned 12 of them so far!
So instead of reading about Mama Bs peanut butter life, or Angies Seven Clowns, or Jens Hipness, or KMamas Daily Dribbles, or Marf Moms Marfan, or When SHE became her mom, or Being a former Fatty, or how HER Life Gone Awry, or Amys B Hole, or Supahs Adventures, or Faemoms Faeness?, or Chicken Nuggets Wisdom, or even Sundays Extreme Parenthood, you get to read about moi.
Before they sign off for good for the duration of their written-in-blood contracts they have each written one last post for you here: parenting BY dummies.
I urge you to give them a chance to explain why theyve sold you out to The Man (The Man being ME) succumbed to the Dumb.
Come on over and say adios to your beloved bloggers. MWAHAHAHA!!!
P.S. I am currently not on the hunt for other blogs to dominate as I have run into a bit of an issue with my blog-world-domination budget plan. #therecessionisruiningeverything
APRIL FOOL’S Y’ALL!