This is going to be a downer of a post.  Warning you…

I’ve been having a hard time blogging lately.  My husband and I are struggling with a big issue about our dog Cheyenne.  To be blunt:  It is time to send her to heaven.

I cannot BELIEVE I am having such a hard time with this.

She is 15 and has been with us since before we were married.  She was our first child, so to speak.  I would be lying if I didn’t say that ever since the babies were born she took the backseat in my priority list.  As a matter of fact, she often drove me crazy.  It was like she gave me the virtual paw (Translation: doggy middle finger) the minute she figured out that I was too damn pregnant to run after her.

For years I loved her but also secretly regarded her as ONE MORE THING to have to deal with.  It is not like I was a bad pet owner it was just that, you know, she was A DOG and I was a MOMMY taking care of BABIES.

I figured that when the time came to make a decision like this that I would totally be calm, cool, collected and detached.  WHY DID I THINK THAT?!

So now, she is this painfully thin shell of a dog that has trouble walking, controlling her functions and pretty much lays down all day and all night.  Yes, we’ve talked to the vet and had tests done and all that.  No dramatic illness.  Basically the vet says that she is very old and that she is withering away.

Even my husband concedes that it is time.

But now I am just sobbing at the thought of it.  And OH MY GOSH – WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?  I mean, do we tell them BEFORE we do it or do we let them come home from school on Friday and tell them that she passed peacefully?  (Translation: lie our butts off) My oldest especially is going to be DEVASTATED.  He is an animal worshiper.

I read somewhere that George Carlin said that a dog is a mini-family tragedy.

SO TRUE.

Anyone have experience with kids and pet loss?  Any advice would be so welcome right now.