Hey YOU.  Up there.  Yeah, you.  I can see you.

Don’t try to shuffle and hide and be all like, “What? Me? I’m not doing anything. What are you talking about?”

I get enough of that from my kids thankyouverymuch.

I tolerated you because you were behaving. In the beginning, there weren’t that many of you.  Those that WERE there knew to just exist, keep quiet and not draw attention to themselves.

But those young ones?  The NEWBIES?  Those little beasts that are all announcing themselves … “Woo hoo! Look at me! Look at ME!” Then they had to take it one step further and be all curly and sticky-upy.  Yeah, you know exactly what I am talking about now, don’t you?  The REBELS.  Well, they sealed your fate, hair.  You can thank them for what I am about to do.

Now it is war.

WAR.

And I will win, hair.  Oh yes, I will win.  Because I am armed with trained professionals who know how to mix concoctions and potions that you have never even dreamed of.  Their cacophony of chemicals will coerce you into submission.  Or they will eliminate you.

So there.

Grey hair be damned.