The following blog post is brought to you by  “Fruit Fresh.”

Raise your hands if you know what the hell I am talking about.  Anyone?  If you are clueless then allow me to fill you in: “Ball® Fruit-Fresh® Produce Protector prevents browning of fresh-cut produce for up to 8 hours.”


My sister Belinda uses it when she cans her fruit or makes jam or some such nonsense like that.  She asked me to pick some up for her the other day.  I didn’t even know where to look for the concoction.  Do you get it at a grocery store or a garden center?  Can you pick one up at CVS? Sears? No clue.

Belinda and I are very, very, V E R Y different when it comes to culinary skills and talents. My sister has her own garden where she grows fresh mint to garnish your tea with. She cans peaches. (After she has gone to the orchard and picked them herself.) She whips up complex pies (from scratch, of course) in ten minutes flat just to invite someone over for coffee. (Naturally.)  She bakes. She sautees. She marinades. 

She sucks.

I, on the other hand, well, I …. do none of those things.  NONE.  If you come to my house and expect fresh mint I will show you the door. If you are looking for home made preservatives you had better look somewhere else.  I can bake pies, but just know that said pies were purchased at a bakery where a team of highly qualified experts created them. Don’t dismay, however because I am very adept at “adding water” to anything in order to create a half decent meal.  That is MY SPECIALTY – just adding water.

How is it that we came from the same womb?

Don’t worry, our mother doesn’t know either.

Still, we get along.  I make fun of her mad homemaking skillz and she inquires as to whether my children are still alive or are eating at a friend’s house.

Our relationship just works that way.

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