One Of The Worst Decisions I Ever Made
Damn you, Seth Godin.
With one small little tweet, you managed to send me right back to high school. And back to one of the worst decisions I ever made.
You know how there are some moments in your life that you can’t forget? Those moments where, for whatever reason, you can remember every second with complete clarity?
So, this particular incident happened to me in tenth grade. I was on the JV field hockey team and it was the very last game of the season. My coach called me over to the bench prior to the game and announced that she was going to make me play that day on the VARSITY team.
Talk about a panic attack. Playing on varsity while you were in tenth grade rarely, if ever, happened. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. I was nervous. I was worried. But I was thrilled.
I wouldn’t say that I did anything especially remarkable in that final game. But I WAS a player on the varsity team. My being bumped up early meant that the coach thought that I had potential.
After loading off of the school bus and shuffling back into school that evening, I was stopped by a another “varsity” teammate. This girl was intimidating in terms of skill, social standing and frankly, sheer bulk. She physically backed me into the water fountain and said to me, ‘Just because you got to play today doesn’t mean you should get a big head. Don’t think too highly of yourself. Got it?”
And then she left.
She had successfully put me in my place.
Do you know how profoundly that affected me? Well, let me tell you. I ended up so completely intimidated by her actions that I quit field hockey altogether. Yep. I put down the stick forever.
I made a conscious choice to fly under the radar rather than shine. For the rest of my high school experience, I purposefully never gave 100% effort in order to stay on “steady ground.” I became so worried about what others thought of me that I decided I would rather them not think of me AT ALL.
Unbelievable.
I’m quite a few years older now and I have obviously had the opportunity to see the error of my ways. I should have used her comment as inspiration, not as a stumbling block.
Why am I telling you this? Motivation, people. To quote the Godin tweet, “We choose not to be remarkable because we’re worried about criticism.”
That is EXACTLY what I did in high school. I CHOSE not to be remarkable. I CHOSE not to develop my God given talents. I CHOSE to let someone intimidate me into submission and mediocrity. It wasn’t her fault. It was mine.
Remember that the next time you are being intimidated by that snarky co-worker, or so-called friend or way-too-much-time-on-their-hands neighbor.
CHOOSE TO BE REMARKABLE. Now go pick up your hockey stick and play!
Twitter: Family_Manager
says:
Thank you for sharing this! You’re right…we so often let one bad experience–that, in the scheme of things, is not that important, but only feels that way in the moment–shape what we do for the rest of our lives. My “moment” was growing up with my parents, though–they were your varsity player, but I had them every day. I was thirty-five-years-old when I finally figured out that I shouldn’t listen to that voice in my head that sounded like my parents.
And now, I have a new experience…my middle daughter has a profound fear of failure. Similar experience to yours. It has affected her school performance, activities, friendships, SO many things. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking to see a talented, smart girl just give up, knowing she could do so much but also knowing I can’t do it for her. She’s slowly getting better, but oh so slowly.
Michele´s last blog ..My Almost Tiger Woods Moment
Twitter: mammamania
says:
Your poor daughter. She sounds just like ME. I know that it is partly because she is young, but peers at that age can be brutal. I just hope that you can motivate her to move past that. Regret is an awful thing.
Girl, I have never met anyone else that played field hockey in high school…too funny! Did you play lacrosse too?
Glad you are giving yourself permission to shine now!!
Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Balance, goals and all that
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 8:37 AM
No, just field hockey! LOL! For some disgusting reason, I still have my old mouthguard. I know….NASTY.
Bullies are hard to stand up to when you are in those awkward formative years though!
Adrienzgirl´s last blog ..That’s two hours I can’t get back….
I feel like you wrote my story! Mine was basketball and I didn’t quit right away, but I definitely flew under the radar. Now I’m struggling to keep my daughter from doing the same thing. I can see the pension for pleasing in her and it’s so hard not to yell-stop!!
Awesome post and reminder.
Thanks.
First of all, I would like to point out that you used the word DAMN in your post! You are totally going to alienate all your conservative Republican God-fearing readers. Therefore I think you should PUT DOWN the keyboard and quit blogging.
Kidding. Sorry, Ok, that wasn’t funny. Well, maybe a little funny… Seriously though? I do love your whole motivational vibe. You rock.
Keep your stick up! (wait, now that just sounded weird..)
(oh, and secondly? let’s find that bitchwhore using her maiden name on Facebook and ruin her social media life because that would just be FUN.)
marymac´s last blog ..Let’s Go Somewhere Topical
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 10:20 AM
Mary – STOP WRITING COMMENTS THAT MAKE ME SNARF MY COFFEE! It goes up my nose and it stings. Thankyouverymuch.
Twitter: chelandria
says:
Hahah, Jen, I gave up EVERY sport I ever tried because of stuff like that no matter how much I loved them. Softball, Hockey, Volleyball (LOVED volleyball), Basketball, etc. Tried them all because all the coaches recruited me, but then dropped out cuz all the HS girls were so mean to me because I wasn’t ‘cool enough’ for them. Cracks me up when some of these people contact me on facebook now. Uhm, no I’m not interested in hearing about your husband/wife family… go away.
I try to keep that in mind now, that I’m awesome. 
It’s hard sometimes though…lol. You are definitely an inspiration, girl!
An Amen and a Halleluiah to that…and while we are at it, how bout taking one more step and telling that little voice that sit all holier than thou up in our wee little brains to shut the hell up.
Such a great post. Really thought provoking. It’s always the simple words that have such unintended consequences, isn’t it?? I try so hard to remember that when I’m talking to my kids, my husband. I hope I haven’t messed them up to badly…
Thanks for sharing this!
Dawn´s last blog ..Magical elves and pin up girls
Twitter: pixielation
says:
What a shame no-one told that brilliant advice to the 15 year old you, who gave up something because of a nasty bully.
Words have so much power, so much better to use that for good than bad.
pixielation´s last blog ..Teddy Bears – like currency, only furrier