Well, technically yes. Yes, they will.

Introducing: GrouSpawn. GrouSpawn was launched by non other than, wait for it…  GROUPON(Yep, that Groupon)

Get it?

GrouSPAWN. As in the spawn of people Grouponing… (Is that even a word?) Forgive me if I channel a little Saturday Night Live when I utter the phrase…. REALLY!?!

GrouSpawn is basically giving away a twice annual award (a $60K college scholarship) to the children of parents who use Groupon

GrouSpawn Baby = Cash

on their first date together. However, in order to qualify for the award, the lucky couple must PROVE that their first outing together involved a Groupon. Meaning, bring your camera. So as to totally freak out your first date with impending thoughts of marriage, pro-creation, sleepless nights and baby excrement, of course. If you are worried about the potential freak factor of your antics, you can always choose to couple with another eligible bachelor or bachelorette featured on the GrouSpawn site.

They think of everything, don’t they?

“Every day, Groupon helps create tens of thousands of life experiences that wouldn’t have otherwise occurred. Inevitably, a percentage of those experiences lead to the creation of baby humans,” said Andrew Mason, Groupon CEO. “We want to make sure Groupon babies are the smartest babies in the world.”

My favorite part of the GrouSpawn site?  The following:

Step 1 FERTILIZE ->  Step 2 LAY GROUSPAWN -> Step 3 GET RICH OFF CHILD

As if….

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