Yeah, I’m Actually In THAT New York Times Article… AND I Have An Opinion On It
It is time for me to weigh in on the New York Times article. Yeah, THAT article. The one I was quoted in. The one that everyone is freaking out about. News to you? Well, then I invite you to take a moment to read it. It is okay. I’ll wait….
I wasn’t planning on speaking out on it, I was perfectly content to let it ride and read what others were saying. They were all much more eloquent then I, anyway.
But then I started musing about a couple of things:
1. Who EXACTLY is the adversary here? The author? Or perhaps the powers that be at the New York Times?
2. Why was everyone so riled up? Perhaps there was there a bigger issue at stake? I think the answer to that is a RESOUNDING YES. It is a bigger issue. And I am not alone in my thinking, Kelby Carr believes the same. Mom 101 wrote a letter to the New York Times. And PunditMom also addressed the issues behind it.
So what pushed me over the edge to take to my own computer? Two things, actually. My quote was being misinterpreted AND I personally spoke to the author, Jennifer Mendelsohn.
Yep. I reached out to her.
But first let me address my own quote. I was quoted as saying “We all live online.” Yes, that is what I said BUT it was part of a bigger discussion about putting our lives out there online and relating to each other and finding companionship. I actually wrote an article for Maryland Life Magazine in the March/April 2010 issue talking about “mommy bloggers” and connecting with others via the Internet. (I personally prefer the term DIGITAL MOM, by the way.) Some have misconstrued my quote as me saying “we live way too much online.” NOPE. Not what I meant. At. All.
Anyway…. back to the author. I reached out to her because I was wondering her thoughts on all of this. I was wondering how she was holding up and frankly, I was wondering if she felt a backlash. I know that when women mobilize we can be a force to be reckoned with. My opinion on the whole piece was that the GRAPHIC and the HEADLINE were insulting and DEGRADING. Now, I don’t claim to know much about the newspaper industry but one thing I do know is that the author has no control over any of that. And if you read the headline and look at the graphic, well, they have exactly ZERO to do with the story she wrote.
My own dealings with her at the conference were very pleasant and were consistent with our phone conversation afterwards. She has actually posted her official response on her blog. You might want to hop over and give it a read. If you read through the comments on her blog post (which incidentally have been closed at this point) you can deduce that she has indeed felt the backlash. It is a shame, really. It marred what would have been one of a writer’s most glorious moments. (“Oh My Gosh, I am published in the New York Times!!!)
You know what I wish? I wish I had the name of the jerk who put the headline and graphic on that story. THAT is where the real prejudice and bias begins. HE is the person we should take to task. (I am assuming it is a HE but I could be wrong.)
I invite you to re-read the article and IGNORE the headline and graphic. Try to read it without being insulted by those two things and you may not come away with the same anger. Or maybe you do. We each interpret things a bit differently. Who am I to tell you how to feel?
I encourage you to read the articles I referenced above by Kelby Carr, Mom101 and Pundit Mom and weigh in for yourself. Where do you stand on the controversy? Was it fueled by the author or by a deeper more cultural bias?
Twitter: wendysurf
says:
I first saw the headline, which grabbed my attention. But after reading the article, I quickly concluded the headline had nothing to do with the article. Didn’t think it was a big deal. And any press is good press…….
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 10:21 AM
Wendy – You are right! hehee
Twitter: 107designs
says:
Get ‘em, Jen!
Honestly, the traditional media and advertising agencies are squirming these days, because an average person now has the power to build their brand independently. And to do that, you absolutely have to “live online” as you put it. The only way to succeed is to be completely transparent and focus on helping your customers and/or readers.
You and the other digital moms (and dads, lol) are doing something today that was impossible only a few years ago. So keep it up. You’re making a difference.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 10:25 AM
What an awesome comment! Thanks so much Michael! I see you are back in the “real” world now?
Well said! Seriously, you’re a rockstar! Love the compassion and kindness you demonstrated in this post. You’re clearly NOT a DRAMA queen. Well done.
.-= Genevieve Le Bel´s last blog ..When did "selfish" become a bad word?! =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 10:22 AM
What a wonderful thing to say! I WAS trying to be empathetic. She was a nice woman. Now as for the person who attached the graphic and title… notsomuch
Twitter: LoveFeast
says:
I’m so glad you followed up, for real! Because as I read the article, I found it wasn’t degrading as so many were voicing in! The picture and title, yes. I’ve kept mum to see how it would play out and am so glad to have found a fellow digital mom, who followed up! Good job! and I agree with Wendysurf…any press is good press!
.-= LoveFeast Table´s last blog ..Midtown Global Market Blogger Night =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 10:23 AM
I just thought she needed to know that even though I wasn’t super happy with it – I knew that she was a real person and that she had to be facing a difficult trial.
Twitter: dipaolamomma
says:
I have to agree with everything you said. I think Michael summed it up beautifully as well. It used to be, and sometimes still is, that big brands and traditional media talked AT and marketed TO the nameless, faceless masses. We were a “demographic” to be “targeted”. The atmosphere is changing, we are fast becoming a community and um if you target a “community” well that illegal in some states, ha! I too reached out to Jennifer. Though I did this before the storm broke. My only reason for doing so was to congratulate her as freelance writer who “hit the big time”. After having read Kelby, Mom 101, Pundit Mom and MANY others I now suspect that Jennifer, rather than being sought after for her skills, was chosen as a pawn. What better an attack then to use someone from amongst our own ranks. Bad “style” and how very out of “fashion” on your part NYT!
.-= DiPaola Momma´s last blog ..Get a Sponsor to BlogHer =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 10:25 AM
I heart you, you know that?
Twitter: ChristineLesier
says:
It’s funny, I never got angry at the author – my initial and continuing reaction, was that it was an attempt by the NYT to be relevant and provocative when it’s clear they’ve lost their hold on both.
.-= Christine ´s last blog ..Asian Salad with Pan Sauteed Tofu =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 10:24 AM
WELL SAID CHRISTINE! LMBO!
You are right and you know that I agree about the bigger issue. Traditional media feels threatened by us and they damn well should be, but they are using their power to try and make us look bad…which is a losing battle. They think that if they can pit us against each other with things like this, then we will be too busy to realize our power.
What they didn’t plan on was people like you and I who are wise to their manipulation and refuse to stand for it.
They are going down, just like like the Titanic, while the violins play.
Twitter: chelandria
says:
I guess I totally ignored the title and header completely because the article didn’t come across as offensive to me. That’ll teach me to ignore such things…
Twitter: marymac
says:
I sat in my kitchen in my pajamas with my coffee (wink!) reading the print edition of the New York Times on Sunday. I COMPLETELY agree that it’s the headline and the graphic that are offensive and set a negative tone more than the author’s work. In my mind as a former newspaper journalist and columnist, I thought she should be applauded for a.) booking the gig with the NYT and b.) executing the piece in what I thought was a fair way. I think she’s undeserving of some of the criticism, which I think is befalling her because of the tone the NYT set.
They’re just jealous because mommybloggers are taking some of their advertising. They better wise up and start working WITH us, not against.
Nice work, JG!
.-= marymac´s last blog ..Hump Day: Clone a Willy =-.
Twitter: amydpp
says:
I like that you went to the author and talked to her, because no matter what she wrote for NEW YORK TIMES. Even with the backlash, I would still want to be in her shoes.
However, the article itself raises some good points on where blogging is going and condemning it out of hand without discussing the issues behind it is to be overprotective of your writings. We put ourselves out there, the good and the bad comes back to us, we have to learn to accept both.
Bravo!
.-= Amy Phillips´s last blog ..Daily Rant =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:22 PM
I agree with you Amy! When you put yourself out there you have to be willing to hear other people’s opinion… good or bad.
You reaching out to the author is one (of the many) reasons I love you! I am sure that there was editorial pressure on her to write in the tone that she did. That being said, with the graphic and headline notwithstanding I still take issue with the condescending tone of the article. It was an article in the New York Times not a blogpost. The tone of sarcasm was present throughout the article and was not necessary.
.-= Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Buzzed Driving is… stupid. =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:23 PM
One of the best things that came out of that day was meeting you, BTW!
Twitter: lk
says:
The headline is what really bothered me but I still think the article was full of sarcasm and unnecessary digs. Tiffany walking around with no shoes on, did that really deserve a mention?
When are we going to learn to stand together instead of opposite fronts.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:24 PM
“When are we going to learn to stand together instead of opposite fronts?” That is the million dollar question, isn’t it?
Twitter: wearegoodkin
says:
I feel like I keep rereading the article and still am not really seeing why everyone is so riled up. I mean, I’m a blogger and I’m just not that offended. I do respect everyone’s opinions, though.
-adrienne
http://wearegoodkin.com
.-= Adrienne Breaux´s last blog ..The Michael Phelps of Sperm =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:24 PM
It is so hard to say, everyone is coming from such a different place, you know?
As a graphic designer, I always pay close attention to the illustration. Every baby shown in that graphic looks angry, frustrated and neglected. Every mom avoids eye contact with her offspring, staring at her screen instead. Most moms are facing in the opposite direction from their babies.
I can imagine the art direction that was given to the illustrator,”Show the world of Mommy-Bloggers” where everything they do is just fodder for their branding image. Show the kid angry at being ignored or neglected.” These illustrations don’t just happen, someone knows exactly what they’re trying to convey.
None of that was the fault of the article author, who wrote her piece and hoped for the best. However, it speaks volumes about the attitude towards this issue of the paper’s editorial staff.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:24 PM
Oh, yes. It totally speaks volumes!
Twitter: debi9kids
says:
I am one of the people who was truly bothered by the article, although for different reasons that some. I wrote about it here: http://bouffard11.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-interrupt-my-normally-scheduled-blog.html
I will say, I tend to be a persona that doesn’t handle critism very well and I deal with guilt all the time when I take time away from my kids. The last thing i need is some horrible newspaper trying to make me feel even guiltier.
.-= debi9kids´s last blog ..The Bald(ness) Countdown is On! =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:25 PM
Amen, sister!
Twitter: Michigan
says:
when i read the article, i felt like taking a shower to wash off all the sarcasm that dripped off of it.
i found it to be a very pathetic attempt at finding popularity.
btw…your post was just as eloquent as the ones that you mentioned!!
.-= melissa´s last blog ..The Post Where I Bitch And Moan Quite A Bit =-.
JennieG
Twitter: mammamania
Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:27 PM
Melissa, what a nice thing to say! You just totally made my day!
Twitter: rockandrollmama
says:
Hey you smart cookie.
As you know, I was rattled by the NYT article, but the more time went by, the more I was uncomfortable with the fact that I piled on the author.
I emailed the section editor of the NYT, who advised me that the headline was “Perhaps Ill-judged”, and that I should re-read the article w.out the bias of the headline and graphic. I did, and still thought the tone of the first page was really dismissive.
But I did also reach out to the author via email, because no matter what goes down in papers or on blogs, I’d rather not have a fellow writer mom feel hated and vilified, no matter my opinion of her words.
Thanks for being a cool head, and I hope I’m around for one of your meetups soon!
Twitter: rockandrollmama
says:
Great post, BTW! I see your journalistic objectivity shining through, even through your words personal involvement. I admire that!
.-= Rock and Roll Mama´s last blog ..Response From New York Times Editor =-.
Twitter: Moomettes
says:
Now I learned something from you that I wasn’t aware of:
That the author of the article isn’t employed by the NYT.
Now it all makes sense that there was no control over the title or graphic.
I think many “digital moms” may not be aware of that.
And isn’t it fabulous that so many can live online? When I was a young mom – the internet hadn’t been invented! But I’m a “Digital Grandmom” now!
.-= Cindi @ Moomette’s Magnificents´s last blog ..Put Your Retweets in Overdrive: Su.Pr URL Shortening Services By Stumble Upon =-.
I originally read the article on line and never saw the headline or the graphic and thought it was a good article. Now that I’m seeing the headline chosen and the graphic, I can totally see why it would stir up a pot of misunderstanding and big reactions. It’s amazing how “framing” the article changed everything, but I admire how you are addressing the controversy.
No apologies or mommy-drama needed here – the fact is that you gals are “out there” (in a good way) DOING IT. You are out there on the front lines of the brave new world of social media. No amount of stinkin’ sarcasm – be it in the NY Times or the Podunk Gazette – can diminish what you are doing. Carry on! You are a force to be reckoned with!
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Don’t kick goose poop in your good shoes =-.