What is with the Girl Scouts and their cookies?

THEY. ARE. STALKING. ME.

Each and every year right about this time the Girl Scouts descend upon the world and blanket it with their cookieness and charm. Girls, I love ya, but not when I am on a diet.  And FYI, I am usually on a diet after the annual holiday binge. (Note to Girl Scout headquarters: PEOPLE MAKE RESOLUTIONS! You’ll be more loved if you sold cookies beginning in May. Who is running the show over there anyway?)

No matter where I am these days I find myself completely surrounded by Girl Scouts. Everywhere I look the little ladies are smiling at me with their come hither, you-know-you-want-them smiles.

In the end, my willpower is never a match for the cuteness of the little girl tromping around in the freezing cold weather peddling cookie nirvana.

I’ve been visited by five separate girls already. Two came to the door. One grabbed me at the bus stop. (SNEAKY) One came to my office (TOTALLY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD) and my niece totally blew my mind by calling me on the phone. (SHE IS A SELLING NINJA) And a moment ago I received an email. (From a mother I pray understands why I had to turn her down.)

When I look at little girls, I don’t see cuteness anymore. All I see is potential cookie hawkers. I cross the street. I avert my eyes. I pretend to talk on my cell phone.

Is nowhere safe?  At this point, I need to take out a second mortgage to pay for my cookie debt.

I MIGHT NEED TO GO INTO HIDING.   If  you need me, I’ll be blogging from the safety of an undisclosed location for the next few months.