It is vacation week here at Hip As I Wanna Be and you know what THAT means, don’t you? You get a chance to read some blogs penned by some of my favorite writers on the net. Like Heather from Cool and Hip, I Am Not.  Enjoy her brilliance!

 

This post was inspired by my friend and fabulous writer, Angela England. She wrote an eye-opening piece about what one should not say to a pregnant woman.

When I got pregnant with my first child, I was all of seventeen years old, so I didn’t get much in the way of strangers asking me random and nosy questions.

Years later, I was almost married and of an acceptable age by society’s definition to gestate a child.  I did get an occasional uninvited hand rubbing my belly or insistences that I HAD to be carrying twins.

But, it wasn’t until I was pregnant with my third child that the crazies came out. It started when we announced our pregnancy – when the second child was a mere six months old.

  • “Well, we know what you’ve been doing.”
  • “Don’t you know what causes that?”  (I fully admit that upon my husband’s octogenarian grandmother asking me this question, the hormones took over and I replied, “Yes. We do. And we like it. A lot.”) (I also admit to regretting saying that.) (Only a little though)
  • “Do you think you’ll have more children?”
  • “When are you going to stop?”
  • after eyeballing my fair-complected infant and pregnant belly ::  “So, are you babysitting today?”

Some people just don’t seem to have a filter when it comes to asking about pregnancy. It’s almost like they are reveling in the fact that you clearly had s-e-x and that means all common decency is off the table.

There was a period of time after my son was born, maybe two years, that I don’t remember any odd comments. Of course, it could be I rarely left the house and was exhausted. Because two kids in just over a year? It isn’t for the lazy or weak of heart.

Then one day, it just happened:

  • “Wow. Are they twins?”
  • “Do they have the same father?”
  • “Are they both yours?”
  • “How did you get a blond and a dark haired child?”
  • “Did you plan to have them that close together?”
  • And the list goes on.

    For every dumb question (and yes, there are dumb questions), I had a snarky comeback. I mean, what would this world be like if we all felt like asking whatever came to mind?

    • · “Did you really think that blue eye-shadow is good look?”
    • · “Did you plan to wear red- striped drawers with those white pants?”
    • · “Did you know that just because they are called ‘skinny jeans’ they don’t make you look ‘skinny’?
    • · “Do you think you are going to get those roots touched up or are you just going to go all natural?”

    You know what I mean.

    I don’t know what causes people to ask questions surrounding a pregnancy and/ or one’s children. Even with the prior experience I have had, you would have thought that when an acquaintance recently shared the news she was expecting, the very first words out of my mouth would not have been, “Oh! That’s wonderful. Because you and husband have been married, what twelve years?”

    Heather spends her days (and many nights) trying to meet the demands that go with being a wife, mother and writer. She has gained no notoriety from her blog, Cool and Hip, I Am Not, but continues to write with high hopes. Topics range from parenting to social disgraces.  She and her husband live with their sons in Tennessee. They’re not going to have more children.  She is hardly working on her first novel.