My heart aches…

I sent my oldest son to middle school today.

As the bus pulled away I turned, stifled my sobs, walked back to the house and then … I cried.

I was emotional for so many reasons. For the overwhelming concern he timidly revealed before boarding the bus. For his anxiety. I wept thinking of the long confusing corridors, unfamiliar faces and surroundings awaiting him.

It was as if the release of my own tears would somehow lessen his burden.

I suppose a part of me mourned the loss of his childhood. Because middle school signifies the beginning of a new era. A new era where my son will need me less. Where, if my husband and I have done our jobs correctly, we will no longer be the center of his universe.

It is time for him to transition. To rise to the challenge and start trusting himself. It is time for him to take responsibility. For his choices. And eventually, his life.

And it is time for his mom to start to learn to let go…. eventually.