Around May of last year I came up with the idea of doing a 40×40 list. It was designed to be nothing more than a fun exercise before I hit that big birthday milestone.

What I noticed about the list recently were the remarkable similarities shared by the items that I wasn’t able to accomplish prior to my birthday. Those items were mostly personal and health related. In other words, I had consistently put myself LAST on the priority list. And by consistently I mean ALWAYS.

Now, the fact that I tend to run a marathon a year makes most people immediately dismiss my health or weight complaints. I kind of hate that, to be honest.

Let me tell you something, I may crank out a marathon once in awhile but that DOES NOT MEAN that I am the picture of perfect health. In fact, I would argue that marathoning has been my excuse for some time now for lack of healthy habits. Couple that with entrepreneurial stress, and a family to manage and you have the perfect storm.

So finally, after feeling chronically tired for weeks and viewing a series of unflattering holiday photos I was forced to quit denying a couple of obvious facts:

  • My clothes no longer fit. At. All.I either have to upgrade to a larger size or wear a full body shaper 24/7. I do not want to do either.
  • “Tired and cranky” has become my moniker. I haven’t been “happy and energetic” for two full years. It is starting to take its toll.
  • I’m not getting any younger. I need to tackle this problem now before it is too late and gets out of control.

So why am I putting this out there? (Other than the fact that I clearly have the need to overshare and thus embarrass myself?) Because I see so many of my friends in the same situation. So many women with career and household demands who let their own care fall by the wayside.

How can we possibly take care of others if we neglect ourselves? For me it is the fear of being selfish woman that leads me away from important choices. Time for myself = time away from the family. A moment alone is a moment I could be spending on a work project or educating myself on the latest business trends. Money spent = money taken away from another priority.

Seeing a pattern here? It is almost like in my own mind I am not worth spending time, money or resources on.

ISN’T THAT RIDICULOUS? I am my own last priority. How can I possibly be there for my family if I am not even there for myself?

Things are going to change around here.