I’m feeling the need to address the elephant in the room. I want to talk a little bit about that thing we all wanted to get into but DIDN’T. That thing we are all mopey and stressed out about.

That thing we didn’t get an invitation to attend. (And by we I mean me, and maybe even you.)

Ouch. It stings.

Getting an invitation means that you are special. It means you are important. It means that you are SOMEBODY. And not getting an invitation… doesn’t. Or so we let ourselves think.

Here’s the thing to keep in mind… you ARE somebody. Just because you weren’t included this time, that doesn’t mean you don’t matter.

Deep inside you know exactly what I am talking about. You know that you are being overly sensitive and possibly irrational. Youre feeling vulnerable and uncertain.

Trust me, I know.

Image via Glenda Otero

I felt the exact same way when the news rolled out across Twitter. I frantically checked my email and spam boxes. I stalked the hashtag. I started mental comparisons between myself and the bloggers who made it in. (It was slightly pathetic, I admit.)

Once it became clear to me that I did not warrant an invite, I went through a dramatic, albeit short-lived,  period of self-doubt and depression. “Why do I bother to blog, anyway? I’ll never be as talented or influental as them. I can’t believe I even thought I might have a chance. They probably don’t even know I exist. I should just call it a day and give up.”

Yes, friends. I actually considered giving it all up. As in shutting down my blog and never returning. 

And for what? For an invitation.

Sigh.

It is so hard in this blogosphere to keep everything in perspective.  My (and/or your) lack of an invitation wasn’t a rejection… there were simply not enough to go around. There are a ton of bloggers out there and only a finite amount of openings.

Someone is going to have to sit this round out.

And that someone is … us. Plain and simple, really.

Social comparison is a dangerous trap that many fall into online because it is so easy to do. The truth is, we all need to be extra guarded and vigilant when it comes to our self esteem or we will end up unfulfilled and unhappy.

Compairing yourself to others is nothing short of toxic.

I personally plan to give a mental high-five to all of the folks proclaiming their excitement over being included in this year’s festivities. I encourage others to do the same. They deserve to have a fantastic time! Who knows? Maybe next year we’ll be the ones who get a surprise in our own in-boxes… or not.