I’m My Own Last Priority

Around May of last year I came up with the idea of doing a 40×40 list. It was designed to be nothing more than a fun exercise before I hit that big birthday milestone.

What I noticed about the list recently were the remarkable similarities shared by the items that I wasn’t able to accomplish prior to my birthday. Those items were mostly personal and health related. In other words, I had consistently put myself LAST on the priority list. And by consistently I mean ALWAYS.

Now, the fact that I tend to run a marathon a year makes most people immediately dismiss my health or weight complaints. I kind of hate that, to be honest.

Let me tell you something, I may crank out a marathon once in awhile but that DOES NOT MEAN that I am the picture of perfect health. In fact, I would argue that marathoning has been my excuse for some time now for lack of healthy habits. Couple that with entrepreneurial stress, and a family to manage and you have the perfect storm.

So finally, after feeling chronically tired for weeks and viewing a series of unflattering holiday photos I was forced to quit denying a couple of obvious facts:

  • My clothes no longer fit. At. All.I either have to upgrade to a larger size or wear a full body shaper 24/7. I do not want to do either.
  • “Tired and cranky” has become my moniker. I haven’t been “happy and energetic” for two full years. It is starting to take its toll.
  • I’m not getting any younger. I need to tackle this problem now before it is too late and gets out of control.

So why am I putting this out there? (Other than the fact that I clearly have the need to overshare and thus embarrass myself?) Because I see so many of my friends in the same situation. So many women with career and household demands who let their own care fall by the wayside.

How can we possibly take care of others if we neglect ourselves? For me it is the fear of being selfish woman that leads me away from important choices. Time for myself = time away from the family. A moment alone is a moment I could be spending on a work project or educating myself on the latest business trends. Money spent = money taken away from another priority.

Seeing a pattern here? It is almost like in my own mind I am not worth spending time, money or resources on.

ISN’T THAT RIDICULOUS? I am my own last priority. How can I possibly be there for my family if I am not even there for myself?

Things are going to change around here.

10 Responses to "I’m My Own Last Priority"

  1. Sue
    Sue 4 years ago .

    Hit the nail on the head. Good for you! I need some redirection as well. Let’s figure this thing out!

  2. marymac
    marymac 4 years ago .

    I love your use of the word ‘upgrade’ to a larger size, like it’s a first class ticket. JOIN US BIG GIRLS in first class, Jennifer!
    I’m kiddding. Sort of. Not really, because NO ONE LIKES SKINNY GIRLS, JEN. Stop with the marathon talk and eat a goddamn cheesburger with a milkshake, for fuck’s sake!
    Ok sorry. I’m not being a good listener or being supportive, am I?
    Honestly though- for what it’s worth- I think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for us. As my oldest turns 18, I realize motherhood isn’t going to devour our souls forever. Someday there will be yoga and teeth whitening for me- I have to just believe.
    We just have to be patient, and hide in the car from the kids once in awhile.


  3. Tina @ Life Without Pink
    Tina @ Life Without Pink 4 years ago .

    Jen I wrote about this as well. The last few months I’ve felt drained, tired, and haven’t been taking care of myself. It’s hard but I am trying to make more of an effort. I focus on everyone else, my home, career, etc. why not on myself? Love this Jen. I am with you!

  4. Jessica @FoundtheMarblejs

    I went through this at the end of last summer and wrote a post about it too! Move yourself up that list, friend. I promise you that you are worth it.

  5. jodifur
    jodifur 4 years ago .

    oh honey, I so hear you on this one. I think we become moms and stop taking care of ourselves. It is like a rule.

  6. JennieG
    JennieG 4 years ago .

    Yes it is. A stupid rule but a rule non the less. And I SWORE I would never be that way…

  7. Candice @ Fashionably Organized
    Candice @ Fashionably Organized 4 years ago .

    My biggest problem is that I suffer from the “I don’t want to’s”. I don’t want to put the time in to take care of myself, and I’m stubborn, so I just upgraded my clothes. Great post!

  8. thegrasshoppa
    thegrasshoppa 4 years ago .

    Really love marymac’s comment! And I totally get where you are. (Triplets plus 2)

    Best wishes for a more balanced and restful you!

  9. JennieG
    JennieG 4 years ago .

    I need to find that article. Moving myself up the list is top priority, friend.

  10. JennieG
    JennieG 4 years ago .

    Great minds think alike, don’t they?