My husband and I have been lying to ourselves for the past 14 years.

That is a long damn time to maintain a parental farce.

We started our journey with sincere declarations about nutrition, bedtimes and wardrobe choices. From there we moved on to subjects like candy, fashion verses function and mass-produced chicken nuggets.

Epic fails.

We never held fast to any of them.

Not ones to linger over defeat, we promptly set forth with all new and improved parental edicts.

(School performance! Friends! Sports! Extra curricular activities!)

What were we thinking?

For example, we swore that we wouldn’t be one of those parents when it came to extra curricular sports activities. “Those” being the parents who travel all over God’s green earth to the determent of their time and financial resources just so their child can participate in a sport.

Also a fail.

This past weekend we traveled approximately three hours (one way) for a weekend soccer tournament in Ocean City, Maryland.

Yep. You read that right.


Honestly, we used to laugh at parents who embarked on this type of journey. We mocked them. And now, well, now we are them.

I don’t know when the transition occurred, exactly. I blame camaraderie with other parents and years of teammate friendships. I blame crazy coaches and high expectations and the complete inability to say no to those adorable creatures I gave birth to. (Okay, not entirely true. I’ve been known to open up a can of whoop-ass a time or two.)  

Still, we continue to delude ourselves into thinking we are reasonable. “What? It was only three hours! I know parents who fly all over the COUNTRY with their kids’ sports. Three hours is nothing!”


I see plane tickets in our future.