No matter how hard I try, no matter how desperately I seek to avoid it, my circumstances often end up resembling that of a television sitcom.
I may have mentioned before that I serve on the board of my local American Advertising Federation. (AAF-GF to be exact.)
As part of my board duties, I recently stepped way outside of my comfort zone and into POLITICS.
Normally, I don’t DO politics. It is not my thing. Also, I’m not a good debater so I shy away from outwardly discussing issues.
That is, until the other day when I found myself on Capitol Hill sitting across from my elected officials emphatically making my point about upcoming issues that could potentially (and direly) affect my industry.
Sounds very respectable, doesn’t it?
Here’s the thing. This being my first time potentially schmoozing with Senators and Hill staffers, I wanted to make a good impression. I took extra care in selecting my outfit. (Respectable!) I studied up on the issues at hand. (Prepared!) I brought industry materials with me. (Extra credit!)
I WAS READY, PEOPLE.
That is, until…
The wind whipped up.
My bags were unable to be stored.
Our luncheon ran late.
These three seemly insignificant items led to the chaos that ensued.
Imagine yourself having to rush to a very important meeting. Imagine trillion-mile-an-hour winds unexpectedly forming around you. Imagine your skirt blowing up over your head. Imagine the fact that you can’t control your skirt blowing up over your head due to carrying multiple (bulky! uncomfortable! heavy!) bags to the important meetings. Imagine confidently sashaying into the wrong office and declaring yourself in attendance.Imagine having to then collect yourself and present a concise argument with your elected representatives while your jammies sit peaking out of one of your godforsaken bags in the chair beside you.
How well do you think you would have performed?
I was a sweaty, windswept, disorganized hot mess of a gal. (With cute jammies, natch.)
I’m pretty sure I pulled it out in the end but HOLY HANNAH was I manic inside.
COULD ANYTHING ELSE HAVE GONE WRONG?
Yes, actually. You’ll be happy to know that once I exited the building it proceeded to rain on my head. Of course that was after the trillion-mile-an-hour winds turned my umbrella inside out and a kind capitol police officer took pity on me and asked if he could be of assistance. (Chivalry is not dead, folks.)
I could not get out of that city fast enough.
My only hope is that my elected representatives recognized me as an amateur and were incredibly moved by my sincerity and passion. Either that or they gave me props for creative pajama wear.