The post read…

Susan Niebur passed away on February 6, 2012 after a lifetime of love, crusades, and strength.  Over the last five years she lived with inflammatory breast cancer, a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer that presents without a lump.  She chronicled her life with cancer here on her blog Toddler Planet with honesty and emotion that were even more rare and aggressive.

I suppose a part of me was expecting to read an announcement like this on Susan’s blog at some point.

But truthfully, the larger part of me was expecting her to once again kick cancer’s ass. To prevail and move forward and hug her babies and lunch with friends and speak of stargazing and the need for more funding and research.

But that isn’t going to happen.

The agonizing part is that I always meant to reach out to her more. To ride up to Silver Spring and see her and some of my other blogging pals. I really wanted to strengthen that bond. I just let time, you know, slip…

Of course, when I heard about her need, I sent her messages. I showed solidarity by painting my nails purple. I sent a card.

It just wasn’t enough and it wasn’t soon enough.

Sigh.

I suppose I should be grateful of this magical thing called the Internet.  It made me feel like I was really with her and experiencing her friendship/life even though I wasn’t. Technically I wasn’t, anyway. I wasn’t part of her inner circle or her immediate family. None the less, Susan’s spirit inspired me. And not just me… she inspired thousands. She inspired people she had never even met.

That is so powerful.

If you’ve been touched by her fight, her candor and/or the power of her words as I have, I encourage you to donate to the Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Or to engage your children in a science-related activity in her honor.

It would have made her smile.

My prayers are with the family and friends that Susan left behind. She will be missed.

In case you got a big, nasty WARNING page shouting at you when you attempted to visit my site… FEAR NOT.

The site has been scrubbed.

But since it was reported as a problem site, we’re still working on getting those nasty messages removed.

Sigh.

Why a hacker would target little ole me, I have no idea.

But they did.

Thanks for sticking by me.

I’m feeling the need to address the elephant in the room. I want to talk a little bit about that thing we all wanted to get into but DIDN’T. That thing we are all mopey and stressed out about.

That thing we didn’t get an invitation to attend. (And by we I mean me, and maybe even you.)

Ouch. It stings.

Getting an invitation means that you are special. It means you are important. It means that you are SOMEBODY. And not getting an invitation… doesn’t. Or so we let ourselves think.

Here’s the thing to keep in mind… you ARE somebody. Just because you weren’t included this time, that doesn’t mean you don’t matter.

Deep inside you know exactly what I am talking about. You know that you are being overly sensitive and possibly irrational. You‘re feeling vulnerable and uncertain.

Trust me, I know.

Image via Glenda Otero

I felt the exact same way when the news rolled out across Twitter. I frantically checked my email and spam boxes. I stalked the hashtag. I started mental comparisons between myself and the bloggers who made it in. (It was slightly pathetic, I admit.)

Once it became clear to me that I did not warrant an invite, I went through a dramatic, albeit short-lived,  period of self-doubt and depression. “Why do I bother to blog, anyway? I’ll never be as talented or influental as them. I can’t believe I even thought I might have a chance. They probably don’t even know I exist. I should just call it a day and give up.”

Yes, friends. I actually considered giving it all up. As in shutting down my blog and never returning. 

And for what? For an invitation.

Sigh.

It is so hard in this blogosphere to keep everything in perspective.  My (and/or your) lack of an invitation wasn’t a rejection… there were simply not enough to go around. There are a ton of bloggers out there and only a finite amount of openings.

Someone is going to have to sit this round out.

And that someone is … us. Plain and simple, really.

Social comparison is a dangerous trap that many fall into online because it is so easy to do. The truth is, we all need to be extra guarded and vigilant when it comes to our self esteem or we will end up unfulfilled and unhappy.

Compairing yourself to others is nothing short of toxic.

I personally plan to give a mental high-five to all of the folks proclaiming their excitement over being included in this year’s festivities. I encourage others to do the same. They deserve to have a fantastic time! Who knows? Maybe next year we’ll be the ones who get a surprise in our own in-boxes… or not.

I am incredibly humbled and excited to announce that I have been selected as a 2012 Stiletto Woman in Business Award Finalist for Mom Entrepreneur of the Year, Social Media Influencer of the Year  and Blogger of the Year.

*Blink*

I know. Even typing that sentence is surreal.

Seeing my name listed among so many other incredible women, takes my breath away, to be sure. (You can view all of the finalists online here.)

In case you are unfamiliar, the SWIBA Awards (Stiletto Woman in Business Awards) are an initiative of Stiletto Woman Media which focuses on empowering women in business.

CEO Karlena Wallace had this to say, “The Stiletto Woman in Business Awards honors the monumental efforts of everyday women business owners, particularly those operating smaller entities that often go under the radar. These leaders redefine conventionalism and create their own success, all while changing lives.”

Wow.

Although I personally do not feel I deserve to be included in such a prestigious group, I do heartily applaud what this organization is all about.

Empowering, coaching and mentoring women is a passion of mine. (No matter what side of the fence I happen to be on at the time.)

My heartfelt appreciation (and shock) at becoming a finalist in the 2012 SWIBA Awards.

You know that slogan, “America Runs on Dunkin’?”

They created that for me.

If there is one thing this gal is obsessed with, it is Dunkin’ Donut’s coffee.

I know there are Starbucks loyalists out there cringing and shaking their fist at me right now and frankly, I don’t care.

We are a Dunkin family.

So, imagine how thrilled the hubby and I were to be invited to a DD social in my town. (If I hadn’t resolved in 2012 to squelch the “squee” response, I would definitely go there.)

We had a great time, mingled with some fantastic folks and even got a chance to taste a bunch of menu items we hadn’t tried yet. (Incidentally, sausage pancake bites are to die for. I prefer to think of them as diet food. As in, essential to my diet.)

Thanks @dcdunkin for a really fun morning!

I got an interesting offer from a blogging colleague a week ago asking me if I would like to host a live Best Buy holiday event on the East Coast.

Um, let me see….  HELL yeah?

You see, we are Best Buy people. In fact, my husband may love Best Buy more than he loves me.  I’ve never really asked. I think it is because I don’t REALLY want to know the answer. Ahem.

In any event, we were thrilled to be a part of the holiday social media extravaganza. Our event was one of two live parties being held that evening in tandem with the SITS Girls #BestBuyHoliday Twitter conversation.

What a fabulous time we all had!

Not only did we get our own personal “geek” from their Geek Squad (who was hilarious), we also got a chance to play around with the Kindle Fire, Fitbit, Asus Tablet, Sony – Cyber-shot 16.1-Megapixel Zoom Digital Camera,  Hard Candy Cotton Candy Maker, HP – Laptop / AMD E-Series Processor, as well as Beats By Dr. Dre Limited Edition Headphones From Monster and tons more…

A techie’s dream holiday party, to be sure. The only downside? Adding to our holiday must-have list!

So you may have noticed that I have been gone lately.

As in completely absent.

It is funny, the more I thought about the fact that I needed to blog, the more I didn’t know what to say. It seemed to me that everything that I wanted to share was either a complaint or too ridiculous. (My brain sometimes gets caught up in the whole “what I should be blogging about” versus what I have to really say argument.)

In any event, I’m back.

Let the blogging commence…

I must apologize for being absent so long, I have been consumed by that little thing called life. (I’m sure  you have heard of it.) So if you’ll bear with me another day or two, I promise to get my blogging act back together.

Till then I leave you with this great quote:

Have you ever been slapped in the face with a reality that you didn’t even know existed? Emotions so raw that you can’t control them when they come bubbling up to the surface?

Unfortunately, that happened to me yesterday morning in front of complete strangers. But more on that in a moment…

The day started out well enough. I was thrilled to attend Hallmark’s Moments Between the Milestones event in Washington, D.C. It was a lovely morning that brought together bloggers from across the area as well as some of the most wonderfully creative minds at Hallmark. (Yep. THAT Hallmark. Some photos here.)

What an honor and a treat to be a part of that crowd!

And it was in front of that crowd, that I had a little breakdown.

We were lead through a writing workshop in which we were to randomly select three words from an envelope to use creatively in a piece of writing. There were no boundaries, only time limitations. We were encouraged to do free flow writing and just let the words take you on a journey.

My three words were MONSTERS… WINDOW… GIGGLE. (Seemed easy enough. I mean, I’d always called the boys “my little monsters” so I felt pretty confident .)

What came out of me was an emotional piece on them growing up…

“They are monsters. Not literally. Well, sometimes. When they try to assert themselves. When they try to be grown up. When they want their own way. Sometimes I don’t even recognize them…. my babies.

They are babies no more.

I remember when they were small. Well, smaller. When they needed me more. When they were little and momma scared away the monsters. We would gaze out the window for hours looking at the sky. Gazing at the rain. Finding animals in the clouds.

I sometimes catch a look or giggle that reminds me of those times and it makes my heart melt.

It is hard to let go, however necessary. We still giggle. We still gaze. But things change. Even the monsters.”

When I was asked to share what I wrote, I had a complete crying jag of a meltdown. In. Front. Of. Strangers.

I know. Not my finest I’ve-got-it-together moment.

I’m sure some in the room were sympathetic. I’m sure some could even relate. I’m sure some thought I forgot my medication.

Looking back on it, I can honestly say that I had NO IDEA I was so emotional about this transition in their/our life. Our daily pace is hectic. There is not much time for reflection. This exercise forced me to acknowledge some feelings that I didn’t realize existed.

Wow. Dare I say, “Thank you Hallmark?”

Yes, I believe I shall. Now, please excuse me while I go hug some not-so-little-anymore monsters…

How about you? Have you ever had a moment or realization about something like this?

I am the number one mom of the world.

El numero uno. The awesomest of awesome. The bomb.

Why? Because I (well, sort of) gave them a little taste of Disney this week.

Disney came to Baltimore to put on a Disney Summer Social and our family was lucky enough to be included in their festivities! (The boys were beside themselves with excitement. If there is one vacation they ask for again and again – it is another trip to Disney.)

We had a lovely time socializing with blogging pals, meeting new friends and catching up on everyone’s family adventures. It was a real treat!

The boys were fascinated to learn about these new updates to their fav Disney adventures:

• “Star Tours – The Adventures Continue” at Disney’s Hollywood Studios taking riders to the planets Coruscant and Tatooine. (We. Love. Star. Wars. Nuff. Said.)
• Wild Africa Trek, in Disney’s Animal Kingdom taking small groups of visitors on adventures into unexplored areas of the Disney savanna to learn about wildlife.  (My firstborn is pretty much destined to work in a zoo. His love for animals sometimes outways humans.)
• Lightning McQueen replacing Herbie the Love Bug on stage in Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show. (Our family loved this show. We saw it twice. Fire! Fast cars! Stunt men!)
• Enhancements added to the  Haunted Mansion. (Great experience. Just enough to scare but not too much!)
  

As for me, I have been dreaming of running the Disney Marathon, okay, actually of earning the Goofy medal for a long time.  (And now there is a TINKERBELL 1/2 MARATHON! You know she is my favorite, right?) I was kinda thinking of asking for Disney Marathon entry for my birthday present this year but, it seems a little over the top. Then again you only turn 40 once, right? (Husband? Are you reading this?)

The Disney event was a lovely ending to our summer. Which got me thinking of ways to extend summer break just a bit longer. Hmmm…. Disney cruise, anyone?

Disclosure: I attended the Disney Summer Social event with my children and received some goodies and treats.  I was not asked to post nor compensated for it.  All opinions expressed are my very own.