A little ditty about the origins of the term douchebag. Apparently it was invented in the Gerlock house.

Makes a momma proud. Err… not really.

He is so getting coal for Christmas.

I’m at an impasse with Christmas.

I have absolutely no idea what to gift the tweens this year. All either boy wants is… TECHNOLOGY. Yep, that is pretty much it.

• Phones
• Video games
• iPads
• Computers
• TVs … and on and on and on.

Gone are the days of action figures and Hot Wheels. Now everything on their lists have micro-circuitry and price tags in the triple digits. How fun.

I pretty much need to take out a second mortgage to afford this year’s wish list.

The frustrating thing is that the boys can’t name one other thing they desire other than technology. I get the old “surprise me” phrase when I press the subject. They don’t even have a suggestion for Santa. They are giving him the same line.

Sigh.

The result of this conundrum is me feeling woefully unprepared while endlessly surfing the Internet for anything remotely cool,  unique and reasonably priced.

Hours of fun I tell you. Hours. Of. Fun.

Anyone else experiencing this? Got any tips for me? Or SANTA?

Dear Middle School Teacher,

I am too old for tests. Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop sending home tests for my son to prepare for. Because if HE has to study that means I have to study.

And I don’t want to study.

I’m done with the studying. I’ve paid my dues. Done my time. I’m too OLD, I tell you!

Yet here I sit. Contemplating how to instruct the 12 year old in on how the geographical features of India influenced the development of their civilization. And as much as I appreciate world history, I would much rather spend my evening contemplating Demi and Ashton’s breakup or JLo’s new boyfriend or just, well, anything besides world history.

I’m sure that makes me a bad parent. But at least I’m an honest one.

Sincerely,

Too old for this nonsense

Wasn’t prepared for this conversation.

Was. Not. Prepared.

But of course, that is how it always happens… when you least expect it.

On the way to church youth group last night, my son informed me that he was ready for a phone… and a GIRLFRIEND.

Yep. Just like that he BROKE MY HEART. Over a casual conversation in the car.

SIGH.

Truth be told, I kinda knew this day was coming. I was just hoping he would stay in the video game / stinky-boy / why-do-I-need-to-wear-deodorant / girls-are-gross phase for awhile longer.

But no. We’re moving into a new stage of life.

Damn.

Have you ever been slapped in the face with a reality that you didn’t even know existed? Emotions so raw that you can’t control them when they come bubbling up to the surface?

Unfortunately, that happened to me yesterday morning in front of complete strangers. But more on that in a moment…

The day started out well enough. I was thrilled to attend Hallmark’s Moments Between the Milestones event in Washington, D.C. It was a lovely morning that brought together bloggers from across the area as well as some of the most wonderfully creative minds at Hallmark. (Yep. THAT Hallmark. Some photos here.)

What an honor and a treat to be a part of that crowd!

And it was in front of that crowd, that I had a little breakdown.

We were lead through a writing workshop in which we were to randomly select three words from an envelope to use creatively in a piece of writing. There were no boundaries, only time limitations. We were encouraged to do free flow writing and just let the words take you on a journey.

My three words were MONSTERS… WINDOW… GIGGLE. (Seemed easy enough. I mean, I’d always called the boys “my little monsters” so I felt pretty confident .)

What came out of me was an emotional piece on them growing up…

“They are monsters. Not literally. Well, sometimes. When they try to assert themselves. When they try to be grown up. When they want their own way. Sometimes I don’t even recognize them…. my babies.

They are babies no more.

I remember when they were small. Well, smaller. When they needed me more. When they were little and momma scared away the monsters. We would gaze out the window for hours looking at the sky. Gazing at the rain. Finding animals in the clouds.

I sometimes catch a look or giggle that reminds me of those times and it makes my heart melt.

It is hard to let go, however necessary. We still giggle. We still gaze. But things change. Even the monsters.”

When I was asked to share what I wrote, I had a complete crying jag of a meltdown. In. Front. Of. Strangers.

I know. Not my finest I’ve-got-it-together moment.

I’m sure some in the room were sympathetic. I’m sure some could even relate. I’m sure some thought I forgot my medication.

Looking back on it, I can honestly say that I had NO IDEA I was so emotional about this transition in their/our life. Our daily pace is hectic. There is not much time for reflection. This exercise forced me to acknowledge some feelings that I didn’t realize existed.

Wow. Dare I say, “Thank you Hallmark?”

Yes, I believe I shall. Now, please excuse me while I go hug some not-so-little-anymore monsters…

How about you? Have you ever had a moment or realization about something like this?