I ran across THE BOX the other day while I was re-organizing. THE BOX is my grandmother’s old sewing basket filled with mementos that I tend to forget that I have.  It seems like every couple of years I discover it again. Being the huge sap that I am, I couldn’t resist emptying its contents.

Note: If you don’t keep A BOX then I recommend that you start one. It is a phenomenal reminder of your life journey and how far you have come.  It can reaffirm you, refocus you and, well, just make you laugh.

I found the most hilarious keepsakes in my box: my old field hockey mouth guard (ewww!), my college ID (worst.haircut.ever.), old prom and wedding napkins, the kids first teeth (double ewww), a pay stub from the New York Times, old press credentials from the Country Music Association (CMA) Awards, concert tickets, magazine articles and my old journal.

Ahem…MY OLD JOURNAL. From 1994. Which was sealed.  (The operative word here is WAS.  Of course, I opened it. ) First thing that greeted me upon opening it up was this quote:  “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” -E.E. Cummings  (Wow. It seems like I was a quote girl even back then.)

Most of the journal contains tales of my life in college complete with me pining over my weight (some things never change) and trails and tribulations with the boyfriend who ended up compulsively cheating on me. (Five wasted years. Don’t get me started, it is kind of embarrassing.)

But there were some really interesting entries as well.  Like this gem:  “I hold a great contempt inside of me towards accepted middle class life. The house, the children, the job, etc… I am terrified of ending up like that. I struggle hard to fight against it.  I just want to get out of this town.  Out of this middle-class trap.”

HOW FUNNY IS THAT?

So here is the thing -  I’m living the life that I apparently detested as a young woman.  And wonder of all wonders, I am perfectly happy and content. Oh sure, I still want to see Europe. I still want to visit the Great Pyramids and live in Italy for a Summer.  But I am truly a happy woman.

It is amazing how your life can come full circle, isn’t it?

Most of the journal, I admit, is pages and pages of me feeling insecure, unsure and self-conscious.  Boy, the ME that WAS, really needed to find her moxie.  Of that I am certain.

I threw the journal in the trash, by the way.  I don’t need to keep it anymore.  It was too painful a reminder of that time in my life.  I’ll feel better not revisiting that place again.

I like who I am now.

I had a plan this evening.  I was going to go for a run.  Come hell or high water I was going to hit the treadmill.

But, alas, I didn’t.

I did something so much better -  I took to the pavement with my nine year old.  While my husband and son #1 went to soccer practice, I spent some mommy bonding time with Young Jedi.

You know, it is amazing what you learn about your child while on a good long walk.

For example:

• The following things make Young Jedi truly happy in a giddy “yippie” kind of way – candy, soda, Disney World, sweets, swimming, Selena Gomez and chocolate.  Not necessarily in that order.  Notice the absence of mommy and daddy?  Yeah, so did I. (Little stinker!)
• Rocks are so incredibly cool that one must stop every five minutes and pick them up, examine them and throw them into the woods.  This is a rule.  I don’t know why the rule exists in the universe but I know that it does. I think boys get bonus points for discovering mud underneath them.
• Snot is always present. Always. Especially when you don’t have a tissue handy.  Even  when a young male does not show any outward symptoms of a cold, he will  have snot.  RUNNING DOWN HIS FACE.  (I had previously assumed that this particular occurrence would cease the minute they got out of kindergarten but I concede that that is not the case.)
• Boys are unbelievably fearless and have an uncanny ability to get dirty… but they are also inspiring, curious and sensitive. 
• They will turn ANYTHING into a race.  If they fall down, they will want you.  If they don’t, they will leave you.  If you come across a hill, you must climb it.  TOGETHER.

Who needs a treadmill?

Every week I set out to bring you something profound for WITTY WEDNESDAY. Something to inspire. Something to make you feel good.  You know, something WITTY. (Duh, right?) And then each week one my my little guys say something so damn cute that I just have to post it.  Ah, well!

So last night my ten year old (Tiny Ninja) and I were praying before he went to bed.  We do this every night together.

So during the course of the conversation, I asked him if he ever thought about God during the school day.  I assured him that if he had a hard time or ever needed help during school that all he would need to do would be to say a prayer and God would be with him.

He said, “I know that mamma. He sends those big angels to be with me.”

Me, “You mean guardian angels?”

Tiny Ninja, “Yeah the ones that are beside my bed right now.  You know, the ones you are squishing!?”  (He was dead serious, folks.)

Me, “Oh, am I?”

Tiny Ninja, “Don’t squish the angels Mamma. They don’t like it.”

So there you have it.  Words of wisdom from Tiny Ninja – “Don’t squish the guardian angels. They don’t like it.” 

Duly noted son.

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Why is it that I am so busy from an overabundance of work/family obligations that I can’t find time to eat yet don’t manage to loose A STINKING OUNCE?

Why is it that I can clean for days to prepare for my in-laws visiting but my mother-in-law can find hours worth of things to clean while she is here?

Why is it that my son claims that he brushes his teeth every morning but that his toothbrush is a permanent, hard, cementy mess that wouldn’t even be fit for scouring toilets?

Why is it that when I actually have quiet time to sit down to write a blog post I find that I have nothing to say?

ANYONE?

There is an emerging trend in my household and I am not sure how to feel about it.  Part of me is amused. Part of me is sad. Part of me is frightened to death.

My sons have discovered GIRLS.

A couple of weeks ago I mused about how iCarly had stolen Young Jedi’s heart. At that moment it was funny because he had never had an interest before. In fact, he had repeatedly told me how gross they were.  She wasn’t really a threat.

But the mommy gloves are now off.  Selena Gomez is now in the picture and he is OBSESSED.  Compounded with that is the fact that Tiny Ninja (who is 10) has claimed his long time friend (who shall not be named) is his true love and he is going to marry her.

Both boys are discussing kissing.

And I caught them checking out a naked department store mannequin and giggling obsessively. I’m fairly certain they copped a feel when I wasn’t looking. Oh. My. Lord.

The 10 year old has B.O., the nine year old is kissing pictures of Selena Gomez when he thinks we aren’t looking and both are using the word “hot” to describe females.

WHERE AM I?!!

What happened to those sweet little babies that asked me to marry them and told me I was the prettiest woman in the world?  Where are the little toddlers that curled up in my lap and ran their fingers through my hair?

I’ll tell you where they are – watching Selena Gomez and Miranda Cosgrove shake their thing across the television screen.

So what do I do?  Hang on for dear life or deal with it and let them find their pre-teen groove?

Currently excited about: Momz Share & Seed!