I have such a hard time saying no. (Can anyone relate?)
I say yes because it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I say yes because I want to help people. I say yes because it is in my nature. I say yes because WORLD DOMINATION is part of my master plan. (Natch.) I say yes because I don’t want to disappoint.
I say yes because I don’t realize THE IMPACT that being over committed is going to have on me and my family.
To be perfectly honest, there are many, many times I that I end up regretting that yes.
Which is why lately, I’ve been making some hard choices. Passing up on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Turning down requests. In short, trying to streamline my life and my family’s life into something more manageable and less stressful for us.
Image via baneofyourresistance.wordpress.com
I shouldn’t wake up in a cold sweat at 5:15 every morning feeling like I’m running behind. It is just not healthy. And it is making me a very grumpy, tired and uninspired girl. (Not to mention mommy, friend, wife, sister, daughter.)
But it is SO VERY HARD to say no.
Sigh.
Interestingly enough, I found an article today written by the Mayo Clinic that talks about this very issue. In it they assert that:
Saying no isn’t necessarily selfish – When you say no to a new commitment, you’re essentially honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you’ll be able to devote quality time to them.
Saying no can allow you to try new things – Just because you’ve always helped plan the company softball tournament or school charity function doesn’t mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no gives you time to pursue other interests.
Always saying yes isn’t healthy – When you’re overcommitted and under too much stress, you’re more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick.
Powerful way of thinking, isn’t it?
And a no for now is not always a no forever, right?
So what about you? Do you have a hard time saying no? Are you overcommitted? How do you manage it all?
As I mentioned yesterday, I was thrilled to be invited to feature some back to school must-haves for Good Morning Maryland. The segment won’t officially air until tomorrow morning but I’ve got a copy early to share with you. (Props to anchor Charley Crowson who doesn’t have children but totally hung with me through the Wiggles and lice talk anyway!)
Here is some information on the products that I featured during the segment:
As back to school time approaches, so does the head lice boom. The Robi Comb is a non-invasive electronic lice comb powered by a single AA battery that detects and destroys lice on contact simply by combing it through dry hair. When the Robi Comb’s metal teeth touch lice, the lice get zapped, die and then get combed away.
They retail for $29.99 and can be found at Walgreens, CVS and Rite Aid, as well as thousands of local pharmacies across the nation.
Kids these days are so high tech; with digital text books and internet based homework assignments, it’s tough for some parents to keep up! To ensure your child’s homework and digital assignments get to class on time, the Animal Series USB Flash Drive from EMTECH is a cute and fun way to protect your files.
They retail for $13 and can be purchased at Staples, Office Depot, Barnes & Noble and online at Amazon.com.
L.L. Bean Bags will last your family for years! These bags have bright colors and fun reflective critters for boys and girls. Constructed from durable textured nylon they also have a reinforced bottom and are water and spill resistant. They are tested as safe for lead, phthalates and PVCs.
They retail for $39.95 and $15.95 and can be purchased online at llbean.com.
I taped a segment for Good Morning Maryland on ABC! The piece will air in Baltimore this Saturday morning so be sure to tune in as I cover the must haves for back-to-school season.
GIRLY FOOTNOTE: Ahem… You know, BEFORE having to go on television, I could have named two dozen outfits that I could happily throw on any day of the week and I’d be satisfied with my appearance.
Suddenly, last night around, oh, 10:00pm I DIDN’T HAVE ONE DECENT ITEM IN MY WARDROBE. I chose that precise moment to hate everything that I owned.
As a child, I used to LOVE school supplies, and I loved packing and unpacking and then re-packing them again and again, into my brand new back pack. And while as a parent now, I like the sense of organization and order (albeit fleeting) that school supplies can bring, as an Occupational Therapist, I cringe as I watch my kids pack their new school supplies into their used and soon to be overstuffed backpacks.
September 21st is National School Backpack Awareness Day and it is an annual event that is held on the 3rd Wednesday of every September. The Day began years ago, as a partnership campaign between the the American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA) and L.L.Bean, Inc. in an attempt to educate parents, students, educators and communities about the serious health effects that back packs that are too heavy or worn improperly have on children.
More than 79 million students in the US carry school backpacks (AOTA “Backpack Facts”.)
More than 23,000 backpack-related injuries were treated at hospital emergency rooms, doctor’s offices, and clinics in 2007 (U.S. consumer Product Safety Commission National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS), Database (2007))
So what’s a parent to do?! I don’t know about you, but as a parent I like to economize where I can, and buying a brand new pack that meets the growth rate of my children from year to year is not always in the budget. So if you’re like me and you’re stuck with “last year’s backpack”, which was purchased in an attempt to fit them for at least a couple of years, but want to minimize any complications the pending doom/I mean overstuffing, might cause…here are some strategies I intend to follow and teach my kids:
“Pack it light, wear it right!”; It’s recommended that a loaded back pack should never weigh more than 15% of your child’s total body weight (i.e. for a student weighing 100 lbs, the back pack shouldn’t weigh more than 15 lbs).
When teacher, “Mrs. Jones”, assigns extra homework or EVERY “Mrs. Jones” assigns homework and your child is expected to carry what amounts to a pack that outweighs the 15% rule, suggest your child pack ½ in their bag and carry the rest in their arms, so the weight is evenly distributed, or pack most in the bag and hand-carry remaining items (to get my kids used to what 15% of their weight feels like, I’ll be organizing a couple relay races in our backyard, prior to labor day) note: if the backpack is too heavy too often, a rolling pack may be a better option
Check what’s in the bag and make sure all items in there are essential for the day’s activities. (I confess, I’ve found many an unidentifiable, lost, or broken items in my own kids’ pack. Who knew her entire coin collection was stashed in the front pocket and that she wasn’t really eating those apples?)
Load heavy items closest to the child’s back (the back of the pack) and as best you can, arrange books and materials so they won’t slide around in the back pack. Stable loads mean less strain on a child’s back muscles.
WEAR BOTH STRAPS! This distributes weight evenly and helps minimize pressure on blood vessels and nerves in the neck and shoulders, which could cause pain and/or tingling in the hands, arms, or neck when too much pressure is applied. A waist belt will also help with weight distribution, as will securing the pack snugly against your child’s back. I’m realistic enough to know the waist belt will not get worn by my kids, no matter how much nagging I do, so the 2-strap rule is routinely “encouraged”. In fact, by the end of the school year last year, I had the younger two kids in my carpool calling after the older ones as they got out of the van at drop-off, “Both straps! Both straps!” (I think it gave the younger ones something to tattle about on their older siblings…I know tattling only happens in my house but hey…I’ll use it when it works).
Finally, if it’s in your budget to purchase a pack, if at all possible, choose a pack with padded shoulder straps and choose a pack that allows the bottom of the pack to rest in the curve of the lower back. A backpack that hangs too low or loosely can pull backwards and strain muscles.
And so now that I’ve taken care of my kids and the backpack dilemma, I need to get myself ready and practice what I preach. There are ergonomic strategies for carrying a purse too…who knew?!
Kelly Beins is wife and mom of two, a runner, an Occupational Therapist certified in sensory integration, and owner of a new practice, Occupational Therapy Consulting, LLC which specializes in sensory integration assessments and consultations. Kelly specializes in working with children, birth through adolescence, who have developmental or social-emotional challenges and has presented and written at both the state and national levels. Watch for the online launch of her new website: www.otc-frederick.com some time mid-October along with her new blog: “Glass Half Full”, which will showcase resources, tips and strategies for helping people live life to the “fullest”, as well as stories of people, who will inspire the pessimist in all of us.
I’m kicking off a new weekly spotlight series at Hip As I Wanna Be called the “Working Mom Spotlight.” Each week I’ll introduce you to some of the most amazing and fascinating working women across the country.
Our first woman in the spotlight is Amy Lupold Bair…
Amy Lupold Bair, blogger, social media marketer, and mom, is the founder of Resourceful Mommy Media. In 2008, Amy burst onto the social media scene inventing the Twitter Party – a hashtagged social event with panelists and a conversational theme catering to the needs of clients ranging from e-commerce start-ups to nationally recognized trusted brands. Developing from her own successful relationships with public relations firms and companies, Amy developed a network for fellow bloggers in early 2009. The Global Influence Network has grown to include nearly 1500 social media savvy bloggers.
A former English teacher and a writer at heart, Amy continues to blog on her personal site, ResourcefulMommy.com. You can hear more of what Amy has to say at LifetimeMoms.com where Amy is a Parenting Channel leader. If you would like just a small dose of Amy, she is always available in 140 characters or less at @ResourcefulMom on Twitter.
Over the years, how have you learned to balance career and motherhood?
I’m still trying to figure that out! This will be the first year that both of my kids are in elementary school, so I’m hoping that I will be able to a better job of compartmentalizing work time and family time. Over the last three years that I’ve been working from home I’ve had to juggle throughout the day and also work late into the night and through weekends. I’m looking forward to keeping more typical work hours and focusing 100% on my family during family time.
Is there one particular parenting lesson you’ve learned about raising kids?
My all time favorite parenting advice is from Maria Shriver. Rather than asking, “Okay?” at the end of an instruction to your child, say “Understand?” The first one asks for approval while the second just asks for comprehension.
Battling stress? Any advice?
Find time for laughter, even if it’s just taking 10 minutes to watch a couple ridiculous YouTube videos or chatting with a friend on Skype. Sometimes I just call my husband in the middle of the day at work to tell him something ridiculous knowing it will make him laugh. Laughter makes everything else tolerable.
Tools or products you can’t live without?
Twitter. Addicted to my very core.
Do you have an inspirational quote, motto or philosophy you can share with us?
I have Philippians 4:13 hanging in my office – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Favorite resources, books, or website?
To be honest, I turn to social media to find most of the information I need. Even if the people on Facebook or Twitter don’t know the right answer, they certainly know how to link me to it.
Working momma. Flibbertigibbet. Family environs upkeep manager. Deadline juggler. Intellectual magpie... Random postings from a life of a working DC Metro mom. Unapologetically myself.
