My children are not babies anymore.  They are not toddlers.  They are not first graders.

Oh no, we are so past that.

To say that they are “growing” is such a cliche.  Yet, that is the only word that I can grasp right now to describe this incredible stage of development they are in.

Their needs are changing.  They don’t need me in that way anymore.

They don’t need me in the room to protect them from choking hazards. They don’t need me to pour them a drink or make them a snack. They can even get dressed by themselves and make their own beds. (That being said, brushing their teeth is still a stretch.  With males it is best to visually verify that this task has been accomplished or ewww… )

What they seem to need now is a little room and a little space to discover.  They need me to interact with them and appreciate them and help them to sort their emotions and reasoning out.  They need me to spend time talking and dreaming with them. They need me to admire their Lego model and investigate their hypothesis.  They need me to listen to them read their Goosebumps books and sing along to their favorite Big Time Rush and Selena Gomez songs.  They need me to corroborate that yes, in fact, Phineas and Ferb is one of the best shows ever made for television viewing.

In doing all of these things I am able to witness their evolution.

Like all stages in their lives so far, there are incredible moments that take my breath away.  More subtle than the “oh-my-gosh-did-you-see-him-walk!?” phase.  These moments are windows into their future selves.  The hint of sarcastic humor. The clear indication of a future passion. I am addicted to these moments.

Yes, it is true that my kids don’t need me in that way anymore.  Surprisingly, I don’t even care. Whatever way they need me is fine by me.

Tags: Big Time Rush, Child, children not needing you anymore, Lego, loud children, Selena Gomez, stages of kids life

I’ve completely lost him.

He is gone.

Selena has him now.  My little nine year old is totally and completely over the moon for Selena Gomez.  I know that we’ve discussed this before and I really hate to harp on it but the level to which my son has taken this crush is so UNEXPECTED.

She is everywhere.

On the TV. My iPad. The wall. The ceiling.

He watches videos and he sings the songs.  He calls her “H O T.”  Repeatedly.  Which, of course, I am not pleased with at all.

Being a naturally inquisitive type of person (and a slightly horrified mother) I asked him this morning why he keeps calling her “hot.”  What exactly hot MEANS.  Why not “pretty” or “beautiful?”  Young Jedi says it is because hot means really, really beautiful. Duh. As opposed to JUST beautiful.  Um, okay then.

And get this, now he wants to celebrate Selena’s birthday on July 22nd.  He wants to have a couple of pals over and eat Rocky Road ice cream (her favorite) and listen to her songs.

Cute, right?  Cute AND disturbing at the same time.  Truth be told, I wasn’t expecting to be replaced this soon.

I’m clearly not taking this well.

What happened to my baby?

Tags: Selena Gomez

You ever catch a conversation between your children that makes you want to laugh out loud?  Or perhaps makes you wince because you are anticipating your future teenager and/or therapy bill?

Happens to me all the time, I swear.  Thought I would share this little ditty overheard from the back seat of my car yesterday:

Young Jedi to Tiny Ninja – “There is only one rule that I follow, dude:  There ARE NO RULES.  And sometimes I don’t follow THAT one.  But it is okay, it’s how I roll.”

I think I am in trouble.

Tags: crazy things kids say, overheard from the back seat, why i will need therapy later in life

You know you are officially a soccer mom when you travel for a tournament. As in, stay for the night.  As in, spend way too much money to spend two days in the sweltering heat watching soccer games.

Which is where I was this weekend.  We participated in a tournament in Hershey, PA on Saturday and Sunday.  Hershey, people!! Home of Hershey Park and Hershey yumminess!  Total and complete happiness.  Stuff of my dreams, man.

Traveling to Hershey, to me, means  four things:

• Chocolate.
• World renowned spas.
• Chocolate being used as facials in the world renowned spas!
• Mommy sneaking away to visit said chocolate facial giving spa!!

Reality was slightly different.  Closest I got to chocolate in my dreamland was a  spoon of my son’s Frosty at Wendy’s on the way home.  Meh.

Aside from the chocolate letdown, our family did have a blast (despite the sweltering heat) and I learned a few things about life and boys and soccer which, alas, I am too tired to relay at this moment.  What I CAN tell you is that bringing 16 children to a restaurant for dinner is not the best idea if you would like to emerge with your reputation still in tact.  Which is why I drank wine and pretended like I had never seen those children before in my life.  Soooo much better for the psyche.

Tags: away soccer tournament, chocolate, Confectionery, Hershey Pennsylvania

I used to be moving at manic speed.  No, really.  I was  a whirlwind.  Now, I am “recovering.”  I’ve been in a self-imposed “recovery” for about three weeks now.

Just like every other mother that I know, I have a lot going on in my life.  So many things vying for our time.  So many responsibilities. Torn between them all. Not doing one of them well.

I am here to tell you that I am not longer manic.  I am coming out from under the mania.  I am conquering it.

As I write this it is 7:30am.  My husband has left for work. My kids (miracle of all miracles) are asleep and instead of “getting a jump on the day”  and running throughout the house at top speed, I am sitting on my favorite chair with a nice cup of coffee and listening to the bird’s sing.

Do you know how long it has been since I have taken a moment like this?  I can’t even begin to contemplate that.  Sure there is laundry to fold, a bathroom to clean and oh yeah, a bedroom half-painted and client work to begin but instead, at this moment, I am blogging.  I am blogging because I love it and it makes me happy.

And when I am centered and happy I react so much better.  I prioritize so much better.  I am a better ME.  Which, of course, makes me a better wife, mother, business owner, blogger, friend and neighbor.

You might be saying to yourself, “Duh, Jen.  Every magazine in the world runs stories on this topic’s importance.  Why WOULDN’T  you take time for yourself?”

I guess I just didn’t think it applied to me.  It is the ole’ superwoman cliche.  I guess I always believed that I was above all of those pressures. Like somehow I was different.  That those rules didn’t apply to me.  Stress?  Health concerns? “Emotional breakdowns?” That was something that happened to OTHER WOMEN.

<ahem> NOTSOMUCH.

I’ve been chronically tired. I’ve gained weight. I’ve been moody and I have been disorganized.  Combine them all and you get one hot mess of a woman.

So one day last month I literally said “FORGET IT!” (Actually, it was the spicier version of that phrase, but you get my drift.) And I turned down an future family obligation. Then I passed up an unbelievable opportunity. And then I didn’t post a blog.  And then I sat down and READ A BOOK.  AND I refused to feel guilty about it. So radical, right?

I’ve kept it up.

You know what?  I am breathing again.  I am feeling healthier.  And I am managing life instead of letting life manage me.  Now, I evaluate every opportunity that comes my way.  As exciting as it may sound, I weigh it against my goals.  And if I can’t do it well or it will add too much stress, then I turn it down.

Revolutionary, I tell you!  I’m happier.  My kids are happier and my husband is much happier. And my clients get my undivided attention.

So, I ask you, are you managing or are you manic?  What steps are you taking to simplify your life and gain control of your sanity?  Is it a constant struggle between obligations and opportunities?

A resource: 72 Ideas to Simplify Your life

Tags: Blog, choosing priorities well, Health, managing mommyhood, moving from manic to managing, Parenting, simplifying life with a family