My life has moved so fast since last December, sometimes my head spins.  I left a secure job in the non-profit sector and started a new company with another power mom. I teamed up with a dear friend and blogger to form Momz Share. And, oh yeah, I’ve started training for the New York City Marathon.
Hectic much? Kinda.

People often ask me how I “do it all.” Honestly, I’m not really sure how to answer that question.  I know that for me, what I choose to do doesn’t feel like WORK.  It is, well…FUN.  ”Doing it all” in this case is the same as breathing and SMILING.

I recently had a striking conversation with a childhood pal about her passions. She wanted so badly to step out and make her dream a reality.  She is just not happy at this stage of her life.  Now, I’m not exactly qualified to give business advice, being a novice myself, but I do know a couple of things about blazing your own trail and taking a chance.

“The secret of making something work in your life is first of all,
the deep desire to make it work,
then the faith and belief that it can work,
then to hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness
and see it working out step by step,
without one thought of  doubt or disbelief.”
- Eileen Caddy

If there is something you want so badly that you can taste it, then I believe that you owe it to yourself to take a chance.  Just TRY.  Sure you will be scared.  Terrified, even.

Yeah, risks are scary. No doubt about it.  But think of how you will feel if you DON’T make a move.  If you don’t even make an attempt.  Regret is the worst feeling of all.

I encourage you to write down you innermost goals and start your action plan.  Ignore the insecure girl inside of your head and make your own opportunities. Take a risk. Making your dream a reality is so worth it!

RESOURCES

Career girls will appreciate this book: Why Good Girls Don’t Get Ahead But Gutsy Girls Do – Kate White

I used to be moving at manic speed.  No, really.  I was  a whirlwind.  Now, I am “recovering.”  I’ve been in a self-imposed “recovery” for about three weeks now.

Just like every other mother that I know, I have a lot going on in my life.  So many things vying for our time.  So many responsibilities. Torn between them all. Not doing one of them well.

I am here to tell you that I am not longer manic.  I am coming out from under the mania.  I am conquering it.

As I write this it is 7:30am.  My husband has left for work. My kids (miracle of all miracles) are asleep and instead of “getting a jump on the day”  and running throughout the house at top speed, I am sitting on my favorite chair with a nice cup of coffee and listening to the bird’s sing.

Do you know how long it has been since I have taken a moment like this?  I can’t even begin to contemplate that.  Sure there is laundry to fold, a bathroom to clean and oh yeah, a bedroom half-painted and client work to begin but instead, at this moment, I am blogging.  I am blogging because I love it and it makes me happy.

And when I am centered and happy I react so much better.  I prioritize so much better.  I am a better ME.  Which, of course, makes me a better wife, mother, business owner, blogger, friend and neighbor.

You might be saying to yourself, “Duh, Jen.  Every magazine in the world runs stories on this topic’s importance.  Why WOULDN’T  you take time for yourself?”

I guess I just didn’t think it applied to me.  It is the ole’ superwoman cliche.  I guess I always believed that I was above all of those pressures. Like somehow I was different.  That those rules didn’t apply to me.  Stress?  Health concerns? “Emotional breakdowns?” That was something that happened to OTHER WOMEN.

<ahem> NOTSOMUCH.

I’ve been chronically tired. I’ve gained weight. I’ve been moody and I have been disorganized.  Combine them all and you get one hot mess of a woman.

So one day last month I literally said “FORGET IT!” (Actually, it was the spicier version of that phrase, but you get my drift.) And I turned down an future family obligation. Then I passed up an unbelievable opportunity. And then I didn’t post a blog.  And then I sat down and READ A BOOK.  AND I refused to feel guilty about it. So radical, right?

I’ve kept it up.

You know what?  I am breathing again.  I am feeling healthier.  And I am managing life instead of letting life manage me.  Now, I evaluate every opportunity that comes my way.  As exciting as it may sound, I weigh it against my goals.  And if I can’t do it well or it will add too much stress, then I turn it down.

Revolutionary, I tell you!  I’m happier.  My kids are happier and my husband is much happier. And my clients get my undivided attention.

So, I ask you, are you managing or are you manic?  What steps are you taking to simplify your life and gain control of your sanity?  Is it a constant struggle between obligations and opportunities?

A resource: 72 Ideas to Simplify Your life

Since today is “national running day” I thought I would post a vlog on how the NYC marathon training is going…

A post about the charity that I am raising money for can be found here. If you would like to skip that and just donate, please feel free!

“What is your passion?”

It was a simple enough question, one that I should have been easily able to answer.  What IS my passion?  As I sat there listening to the life coach guide us in an exercise on Saturday night, I tried to clear my mind and really dig deep to answer.  Really concentrate.  And you know what I came up with? Nothing. 

NOTHING.

Isn’t that just sad?  I couldn’t identify my passion.

I had way too many thoughts in my head and not one CLEAR answer.  I knew what the obvious answers might be but I wasn’t FEELING THEM.  It was like all of my interests were gone.  There was nothing that truly sparked for me.  It seemed as if my entire life was now a faded black and white photograph where once it had been filled with vibrant colors.  I have to tell you, coming to this realization was shocking.

Stepping back from it, I realize that now am MOTIVATED.  I need to clear out my life and my obligations.  I need to get “un-busy” and re-connect with  myself so that I can remember what fills me up.  I think it is time for a little self-realization.

I know I am not alone in this. I think in today’s society it is so easy for women (and men) to find themselves engulfed in the day-to-day administrative details of life.  Running kids here.  Picking up groceries there.  Sprinting to the bank.  We FORGET who we truly are and what WE TRULY LOVE.  Obviously we love our families, that is easy.  But what about ourselves?  Where do we find joy?

The three questions that stumped me the other night I now ask you:

• What is your passion?
• If time and money were no object, what would you do?
• What excites you?  What makes you happy?

Something to think about, huh?

On a similar note,  I just read a fabulous post by Jenny the Bloggess about her RED DRESS.

“I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies.  I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be. And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply “not sensible”. Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better.  Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it.”

She goes on to challenge readers to think about what they need and what they are too embarrassed to ask for.  “Find your red dress. And wear the hell out of it.”

Excellent advice, Jenny!  I think I that is what I am looking for… my red dress.  I suddenly feel the need to go on a shopping trip.  I’ve got a dress to buy.

How about you?

Clearly, I am an idiot.

I thought that writing a “light & funny” piece on the Top 5 Style DON’Ts for Hybrid Mom would be a pretty standard assignment.

I never thought I would be called out as a “bad writer, catty, judgmental and @#%^&*!”  But I was.

Why am I telling you this? Partly because it has been slightly consuming me.  Partly because I have never been involved in drama.  People, some of these folks HATE me.  Holy cow!

And I guess the biggest thing that is upsetting me is the fact that I am second guessing my writing skills.  When you insult people you don’t mean to insult, well, you have to either completely dismiss them or re-evaluate your own skills. So for a woman with classic nice-girl syndrome (READ: me), this situation is completely unnerving.  It is enough to make me want to drop the humor altogether. 

Has anyone else out there found themselves in a similar situation of doubt?  How did YOU handle it?

I  can feel the shift.  Quite literally, I can feel  it.

That lost feeling that has been there for months?   GONE.

The searching?  The  quiet desperation?  Adios.

I’m in a new place.

I am thrilled.

Not that I wasn’t always “happy.”  It was just that in a deeper place, underneath it all I was always uneasy.  I kept myself very busy so that I wouldn’t have to completely acknowledge it.

I wouldn’t say that I was depressed these past couple of months, rather DEVOID OF TRUE JOY.

Until now.

I decided to stop the internal drama.  It was getting me nowhere.  I decided to stop over analyzing and just BE. Just LIVE.

And that simple decision has turned things around for me.

I find bliss now in the innocence of my children. In the goofy jokes from my husband. In the blossoms on the trees. In loud, happy music. In the wind through my hair and the natural beauty of life.

The laughter is back, people.

Today I reconnected with a friend that I hadn’t spoken with in awhile.  It was so nice to laugh with her and reminisce and talk.  Truly, she is an amazing lady.

Talking with my pal made me realize that I was desperately missing something in my life. Something essential. Something that has left a void in me.

I desperately miss my running.

You see, this pal was with me when I ran my first marathon.  We trained for months together and became very, very close friends.

Our conversation made me realize what I was missing at this point in my life.  I am missing the breeze in my hair. The steady sound of feet on the pavement. I am missing the daydreams.  The goal setting. I even miss the speed work. (Which is weird because nobody misses speed work.)

When I run I feel like a warrior.  I feel strong.  Running makes me feel like I am more than just a mother. More than just a suburban housewife. More than just a business woman.  When I run I feel like, well, like nothing short of  a badass.

It is a passion that most can’t understand or relate to.  I know.  But it makes me feel ALIVE. And I had forgotten that passion.  At least, I thought I did.

Chatting on the phone today with my pal brought it all back to me and put a fire in my belly.  So I laced up my shoes, threw in my headphones and rocked out on the treadmill.  The experience was exhilarating and totally reminded me of a quote I once saw:

“The longer I run, the smaller my problems become…”

Everyone has passions.  Though not the same in size or scope, our passions are what make us come alive.  They are gifts given to us that make us unique and special.  Have you reconnected with your passions lately?