Around May of last year I came up with the idea of doing a 40×40 list. It was designed to be nothing more than a fun exercise before I hit that big birthday milestone.

What I noticed about the list recently were the remarkable similarities shared by the items that I wasn’t able to accomplish prior to my birthday. Those items were mostly personal and health related. In other words, I had consistently put myself LAST on the priority list. And by consistently I mean ALWAYS.

Now, the fact that I tend to run a marathon a year makes most people immediately dismiss my health or weight complaints. I kind of hate that, to be honest.

Let me tell you something, I may crank out a marathon once in awhile but that DOES NOT MEAN that I am the picture of perfect health. In fact, I would argue that marathoning has been my excuse for some time now for lack of healthy habits. Couple that with entrepreneurial stress, and a family to manage and you have the perfect storm.

So finally, after feeling chronically tired for weeks and viewing a series of unflattering holiday photos I was forced to quit denying a couple of obvious facts:

• My clothes no longer fit. At. All.I either have to upgrade to a larger size or wear a full body shaper 24/7. I do not want to do either.
• “Tired and cranky” has become my moniker. I haven’t been “happy and energetic” for two full years. It is starting to take its toll.
• I’m not getting any younger. I need to tackle this problem now before it is too late and gets out of control.

So why am I putting this out there? (Other than the fact that I clearly have the need to overshare and thus embarrass myself?) Because I see so many of my friends in the same situation. So many women with career and household demands who let their own care fall by the wayside.

How can we possibly take care of others if we neglect ourselves? For me it is the fear of being selfish woman that leads me away from important choices. Time for myself = time away from the family. A moment alone is a moment I could be spending on a work project or educating myself on the latest business trends. Money spent = money taken away from another priority.

Seeing a pattern here? It is almost like in my own mind I am not worth spending time, money or resources on.

ISN’T THAT RIDICULOUS? I am my own last priority. How can I possibly be there for my family if I am not even there for myself?

Things are going to change around here.

I firmly believe that each of us was created for a purpose. What that purpose is, only God knows.

I’ve struggled with discovering my own purpose for years. Well, maybe the word “struggled” isn’t exactly correct. Perhaps searched is a better term. It is such a difficult thing to determine and frankly, I’m not sure if one is ever truly enlightened as to the impact they make on the world. At least, not while they are IN this world, anyway.

One of my goals for last year was to adopt a “mantra.” And by mantra I simply meant, a clear, guiding principal for life.

I didn’t find the perfect phrase until late November. I stumbled across it quite by accident while in line at the grocery store. It struck me as so profound and so simple that I had to immediately write it down lest I forget it. (Because I forget pretty much everything if I don’t record it.)

“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”~~Stephen Grellet

Quite simple and to the point.

Be good to everyone, all the time. Pretty powerful, wouldn’t you say?

Abraham Lincoln once said that “A goal properly set is halfway reached.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Time and time again I work with individuals and businesses who mean well but have no clear goals or strategy.

Setting goals is more than just making vague resolution-y statements like “I will increase my business” or “I will lose weight.” It means creating a well thought out written plan that includes objectives and measurable results.

In short, you need to set S.M.A.R.T. goals. (Just love the S.M.A.R.T. anacronym, don’t you? I’m a nerd like that.)

THE FORMULA:

SPECIFIC: Your goals must be specific. Forgo generalities and instead delve into detail.

MEASUREABLE: Goals that are achieved are the ones that can be measured and tracked.

ATTAINABLE: A goal needs to stretch your business slightly. Challenge yourself but don’t make it impossible to achieve.

REALISTIC: Be practical. This means that the skills or resources needed to do the work are available and that it project fits within the overall strategy and goals of the your life or organization.

TIMELY: Goal setting without beginning or ending dates never get accomplished. Be sure you have a deadline. Without a time limit, there’s no urgency to start taking immediate action. (Trust me on this one, I have been guilty of this many times!)

Some examples of S.M.A.R.T. goals:

• Increase customer satisfaction by 20% by October 2012.
• Increase visitor traffic on my site by 10% in the next 90 days.

The challenge: Take a moment to compose two SMART goals that you’d like to achieve in 2012. Then write down what you will do in next three months, six months and nine months to in order to achieve them.

When you are a woman, turning 40 is supposed to be this huge thing.

Some look forward to it as a sign of life experience, some dread it as a sign of passing youth.

I’m not going to lie to you, it has taken me the better part of a year (and a couple of blog posts) to wrap my head around hitting this intimidating milestone in my life. I never quite envisioned the words “I’m forty” coming out of my own mouth. But, I’m happy to report that honestly… it is all much ado about nothing.

It came and went.

It is now my new reality.

Perhaps it was because of the “impending birthday” (insert dramatic music here) that I have spent the last few months doing some true soul searching.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that I like myself. I like my circumstances.

And, I am most definitely okay with my age. (I’ve never acted my age anyway, why in the world would I start now?)

I am enjoying every moment of my life. I’m letting things go. I’m savoring moments more. I’m appreciating important friends and colleagues in my life. I’m filling my spirit with prayer and searching for deeper meaning in the every day.

And I am laughing. Really, truly laughing, smiling and happy.

Why did it take me until 40? No idea. But I encourage you to do the same. Start now. Savor your circumstances. Revel in your experiences. It is so worth it.

Spending my 40th in NYC with my family!

Some resources:

• How to get out of that funk
• 6 steps to regret proof your life
• Why you need more fun in your life

In what row are you living your life?

I saw this photo on Facebook today and just felt compelled to share. The caption: “How Do you live  your life? Are you in the first row or the third?”

Indulge me for a moment and take a long look at the photo to your left.

Clearly no one is partying in the third row.

Which begs to ask… In the grand scheme of life, where would you say you sit? Or better yet, where would you like to sit?

In my opinion, front row riders are:

• Passionate
• Fun loving
• Free spirited
• Fearless

As for me, I’d classify myself as a second row rider. I enjoy the ride but really get a kick out of watching the folks in the front casting their cares aside and living their lives with passion (and a wicked sense of humor). As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have a tendency to stifle my own spirit of the name of being  inappropriate or living up to other’s expectations.

I’m really tired of doing that.

Do you ever find your own self hesitating? Ever wished you would have grabbed an opportunity instead of staying in the safe zone? Ever yearned to throw caution to the wind, let loose and let yourself have fun?

I don’t know about you but I’m thinking it is time to move up to the front row.