Around May of last year I came up with the idea of doing a 40×40 list. It was designed to be nothing more than a fun exercise before I hit that big birthday milestone.

What I noticed about the list recently were the remarkable similarities shared by the items that I wasn’t able to accomplish prior to my birthday. Those items were mostly personal and health related. In other words, I had consistently put myself LAST on the priority list. And by consistently I mean ALWAYS.

Now, the fact that I tend to run a marathon a year makes most people immediately dismiss my health or weight complaints. I kind of hate that, to be honest.

Let me tell you something, I may crank out a marathon once in awhile but that DOES NOT MEAN that I am the picture of perfect health. In fact, I would argue that marathoning has been my excuse for some time now for lack of healthy habits. Couple that with entrepreneurial stress, and a family to manage and you have the perfect storm.

So finally, after feeling chronically tired for weeks and viewing a series of unflattering holiday photos I was forced to quit denying a couple of obvious facts:

• My clothes no longer fit. At. All.I either have to upgrade to a larger size or wear a full body shaper 24/7. I do not want to do either.
• “Tired and cranky” has become my moniker. I haven’t been “happy and energetic” for two full years. It is starting to take its toll.
• I’m not getting any younger. I need to tackle this problem now before it is too late and gets out of control.

So why am I putting this out there? (Other than the fact that I clearly have the need to overshare and thus embarrass myself?) Because I see so many of my friends in the same situation. So many women with career and household demands who let their own care fall by the wayside.

How can we possibly take care of others if we neglect ourselves? For me it is the fear of being selfish woman that leads me away from important choices. Time for myself = time away from the family. A moment alone is a moment I could be spending on a work project or educating myself on the latest business trends. Money spent = money taken away from another priority.

Seeing a pattern here? It is almost like in my own mind I am not worth spending time, money or resources on.

ISN’T THAT RIDICULOUS? I am my own last priority. How can I possibly be there for my family if I am not even there for myself?

Things are going to change around here.

I firmly believe that each of us was created for a purpose. What that purpose is, only God knows.

I’ve struggled with discovering my own purpose for years. Well, maybe the word “struggled” isn’t exactly correct. Perhaps searched is a better term. It is such a difficult thing to determine and frankly, I’m not sure if one is ever truly enlightened as to the impact they make on the world. At least, not while they are IN this world, anyway.

One of my goals for last year was to adopt a “mantra.” And by mantra I simply meant, a clear, guiding principal for life.

I didn’t find the perfect phrase until late November. I stumbled across it quite by accident while in line at the grocery store. It struck me as so profound and so simple that I had to immediately write it down lest I forget it. (Because I forget pretty much everything if I don’t record it.)

“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”~~Stephen Grellet

Quite simple and to the point.

Be good to everyone, all the time. Pretty powerful, wouldn’t you say?

Abraham Lincoln once said that “A goal properly set is halfway reached.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Time and time again I work with individuals and businesses who mean well but have no clear goals or strategy.

Setting goals is more than just making vague resolution-y statements like “I will increase my business” or “I will lose weight.” It means creating a well thought out written plan that includes objectives and measurable results.

In short, you need to set S.M.A.R.T. goals. (Just love the S.M.A.R.T. anacronym, don’t you? I’m a nerd like that.)

THE FORMULA:

SPECIFIC: Your goals must be specific. Forgo generalities and instead delve into detail.

MEASUREABLE: Goals that are achieved are the ones that can be measured and tracked.

ATTAINABLE: A goal needs to stretch your business slightly. Challenge yourself but don’t make it impossible to achieve.

REALISTIC: Be practical. This means that the skills or resources needed to do the work are available and that it project fits within the overall strategy and goals of the your life or organization.

TIMELY: Goal setting without beginning or ending dates never get accomplished. Be sure you have a deadline. Without a time limit, there’s no urgency to start taking immediate action. (Trust me on this one, I have been guilty of this many times!)

Some examples of S.M.A.R.T. goals:

• Increase customer satisfaction by 20% by October 2012.
• Increase visitor traffic on my site by 10% in the next 90 days.

The challenge: Take a moment to compose two SMART goals that you’d like to achieve in 2012. Then write down what you will do in next three months, six months and nine months to in order to achieve them.

When you are a woman, turning 40 is supposed to be this huge thing.

Some look forward to it as a sign of life experience, some dread it as a sign of passing youth.

I’m not going to lie to you, it has taken me the better part of a year (and a couple of blog posts) to wrap my head around hitting this intimidating milestone in my life. I never quite envisioned the words “I’m forty” coming out of my own mouth. But, I’m happy to report that honestly… it is all much ado about nothing.

It came and went.

It is now my new reality.

Perhaps it was because of the “impending birthday” (insert dramatic music here) that I have spent the last few months doing some true soul searching.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that I like myself. I like my circumstances.

And, I am most definitely okay with my age. (I’ve never acted my age anyway, why in the world would I start now?)

I am enjoying every moment of my life. I’m letting things go. I’m savoring moments more. I’m appreciating important friends and colleagues in my life. I’m filling my spirit with prayer and searching for deeper meaning in the every day.

And I am laughing. Really, truly laughing, smiling and happy.

Why did it take me until 40? No idea. But I encourage you to do the same. Start now. Savor your circumstances. Revel in your experiences. It is so worth it.

Spending my 40th in NYC with my family!

Some resources:

• How to get out of that funk
• 6 steps to regret proof your life
• Why you need more fun in your life

In what row are you living your life?

I saw this photo on Facebook today and just felt compelled to share. The caption: “How Do you live  your life? Are you in the first row or the third?”

Indulge me for a moment and take a long look at the photo to your left.

Clearly no one is partying in the third row.

Which begs to ask… In the grand scheme of life, where would you say you sit? Or better yet, where would you like to sit?

In my opinion, front row riders are:

• Passionate
• Fun loving
• Free spirited
• Fearless

As for me, I’d classify myself as a second row rider. I enjoy the ride but really get a kick out of watching the folks in the front casting their cares aside and living their lives with passion (and a wicked sense of humor). As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have a tendency to stifle my own spirit of the name of being  inappropriate or living up to other’s expectations.

I’m really tired of doing that.

Do you ever find your own self hesitating? Ever wished you would have grabbed an opportunity instead of staying in the safe zone? Ever yearned to throw caution to the wind, let loose and let yourself have fun?

I don’t know about you but I’m thinking it is time to move up to the front row.

Marathon weekend came and went and I’m happy to report that… we conquered!

The Baltimore Marathon was the fourth marathon I have participated in. It is my opinion that each marathon is its own unique experience and will be forever remembered as such. Besides being my pal Lori’s first marathon, the Baltimore Marathon will forever remain ingrained in my mind for its H I L L S. (11 miles of them, to be exact. Or so Lori figured out.)

Obviously, I’m still a little sore. (Not to mention walking down stairs backwards.)

Here’s the rundown:

Although we live close enough to drive, our little group decided it be best to rent a room near to the event to ensure maximum sleepage. (Sleepage is a word, right?) Of course, sleeping was second priority next to food. (Hey, what good is all that running if a girl can’t get a decent meal?) We had the most scrumptious marathon eve meal of burgers and wine at Pratt Street Ale House. Best. Burger. Ever.

Race day was fantastic. The weather was perfectly cool and crisp. Ideal running weather, to be sure.

We had agreed ahead of time that this marathon would be one that we (especially Lori) would enjoy. No time goals. No pressure. We stopped to take pictures along the way, we enjoyed the scenery (well, SOME of the scenery, Baltimore has some less than lovely places that the marathon happens to run through and those place require police protection) and really soaked up the experience.

My nemesis the IT band made a throbbing appearance around mile 16 but luckily there was a medical tent nearby so I got some assistance. Crisis averted. Because 10 miles of throbbing pain would have been less-than-pleasant. Can I say that again? Less. Than. Pleasant.

Do we look happy? Of course we do! By the way, Lori and I earned a second medal called the Maryland Double for completing the combination of Frederick Half-Marathon and Baltimore Full Marathon. It is large and heavy and difficult to wear. I heart it.

A huge shout out to the staff and volunteers of the Baltimore Running Festival who provided the best race support that I have ever experienced on a course. Always enough water. Always enough Gatorade. Plenty of Power Gels, food, bathrooms and medical attention available. It was a well-oiled machine in terms of attention to detail.

As I feared, Lori was instantly addicted and looking towards her second marathon. (Darn Katie totally rubbed off on her.) And as for Katie, she runs the New York Marathon and the JFK 50 in November. She is nuts. (But I love her.)

And now to figure out my next big goal. Hmm… any suggestions?

I have such a hard time saying no. (Can anyone relate?)

I say yes because it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I say yes because I want to help people. I say yes because it is in my nature. I say yes because WORLD DOMINATION is part of my master plan. (Natch.) I say yes because I don’t want to disappoint.

I say yes because I don’t realize THE IMPACT that being over committed is going to have on me and my family.

To be perfectly honest, there are many, many times I that I end up regretting that yes. 

Which is why lately, I’ve been making some hard choices. Passing up on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Turning down requests. In short, trying to streamline my life and my family’s life into something more manageable and less stressful for us.

Image via baneofyourresistance.wordpress.com

I shouldn’t wake up in a cold sweat at 5:15 every morning feeling like I’m running behind. It is just not healthy. And it is making me a very grumpy, tired and uninspired girl. (Not to mention mommy, friend, wife, sister, daughter.)

But it is SO VERY HARD to say no.

Sigh.

Interestingly enough, I found an article today written by the Mayo Clinic that talks about this very issue. In it they assert that:

• Saying no isn’t necessarily selfish – When you say no to a new commitment, you’re essentially honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you’ll be able to devote quality time to them.
• Saying no can allow you to try new things – Just because you’ve always helped plan the company softball tournament  or school charity function doesn’t mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no gives you time to pursue other interests.
• Always saying yes isn’t healthy – When you’re overcommitted and under too much stress, you’re more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick.

Powerful way of thinking, isn’t it?

And a no for now is not always a no forever, right?

So what about you? Do you have a hard time saying no? Are you overcommitted? How do you manage it all?

Wondering how my little teeth whitening challenge went?

Tada!

Are you seeing the above results? I know, right?

I have to admit that I was more than a tad skeptical of the Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips when I pulled them out of the box. The whole concept was way too simple and way too affordable to deliver what it promised.

But even this skeptic has to admit that the results speak for themselves. Truly easy to use. I put them on one evening, proceeded to read a book and in a flash …. DONE!

My husband was so impressed that he used them for a big interview he had the next day AND we went out and purchased the Crest 3D White Multi-Care Whitening Rinse. Converts? Yes, you could say that.

Would you like to try them out for yourself? Then follow this link and get yourself a coupon. Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips are available at mass retailers and drugstores nationwide. For more information, visit 3DWhite.com, or visit them on Facebook.

Disclosure: I am participating in a Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips campaign hosted by One2One Network. This is a sponsored post. All opinions are 100% mine.

Confession time…. I do not like my smile.

The older I get (meaning the more coffee that I drink) the duller my smile has become. It is a true self-esteem killer. Truth be told, I’ve come seriously close to seeking professional whitening services but could never justify the expense. (Hey, the kids have gotta eat!)

In the past three weeks I have attended no less than five functions that have required photographs, on camera speaking or public speaking. And STILL I can’t justify the cost or time associated with a professional whitening procedure. Ridiculous.

Enter… (drumroll) a very cool opportunity to try Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips.

Me. Now. Ewww....

I’m really interested to see what kind of difference it makes! I have a number of events coming up including another possible television segment. I need the help and I need it quickly. (By the way, TOTALLY killing me to put this picture up without photo shopping it. Arrgghhh!)

How do the Whitestrips work?

• The Whitestrips contain a thicker ingredient layer which provides significantly more enamel safe whitening ingredient.
• Tooth stains are removed below the tooth’s surface, for a brighter, whiter smile – faster.
• Advanced Seal Technology optimizes notches that wrap and conform to teeth for improved wear and comfort.

Here’s hoping they are as great as I hear. I’m totally up for the challenge!

What life event would you whiten for in just two hours with Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips?

Disclosure: I am participating in a Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Whitestrips campaign hosted by One2One Network. This is a sponsored post. All opinions are 100% mine.

Back in May I put together a list of 40 things that I want to do prior to hitting the big 4-0. At that time I promised myself that I would check  in every couple of weeks on the blog in order to keep myself accountable.

So here is the progress….

Personal

• Finish decorating my bedroom.
• Complete the picture mural in the living room.
• Begin writing a book.
• Bring back the pink hair or get a nose piercing.
• Learn how to skateboard.
• Have my first girlfriend’s weekend away.
• Visit the beach.
• Buy an expensive night cream.
• Buy a new (read: slinky) dress to wear to a fancy function.
• Get an extravagant pedicure.
• Adopt a mantra.
• Buy iPhone 4 (Please, honey?)
• Complete a Bible study.
• Join a book club.
• Take a cooking class.

Blog / Online

• Finish the blog redesign along with You Tube, Twitter, About.Me and new blog cards. (In process. Almost complete.)
• Launch a new web series.
• Get that big content idea off the ground.
• Land a really cool partnership.
• Nab a cool guest post opportunity or meet a blogger that I’ve always admired.

Fitness Goals (I admit it… totally sucking at this)

• Lose that 15 pounds.
• Run the Baltimore marathon.
• Finish a Body-For-Life round.
• Try Yoga.

Professional

• Join the board of directors or take a leadership role in an organization.
• Finish decorating my office.
• Find an organizational system that works perfectly for me. (Nearly conquered)
• Do something outside my comfort zone.
• Write a white paper.
• Land a speaking engagement.
• Attend a conference or take an online course in my industry.

Family

• Take each boy on a special day alone.
• Run a 5K with one or both of the boys.
• Spend a romantic night away with my husband.
• See a musical, play or performance.
• Take the boys to New York.
• Go to a theme park.
• Call my sister(s) every week.
• Have tea at a tea room with my mother and sisters.
• Take a family hike.

You’ll notice that the sections that have THE LEAST AMOUNT accomplished are personal. Interesting, isn’t it? Is that just a “woman thing” or is it a “parent thing?” Why is it so hard for me to get a damn pedicure to try yoga?

I’m still holding out hope that I will be able to accomplish all of these goals. Fingers crossed!