As a blogger, I have been blessed by many relationships with businesses looking to spread the word about their product or service to others.  As a social media marketer I am fortunate to be able to see first-hand best practices and WORST practices at work.  Being on the receiving end of many campaigns has given me an interesting perspective, indeed.

I know from experience that some of the readers of this blog are small businesses, corporations and/or public relations representatives.  With that in mind, I thought that I might do a quick posting of some of the business articles that I have written on the topic of social media and engagement.  Enjoy!

Blogger Engagement Events – Some Best Practices:  Interested in putting on an engagement event for bloggers? Here are some best practices to get you started.

A Little Bit About Blogger Relations

Big Secrets To A Successful Blog:  Did someone say “secret?”

Four Ways Social Media Can Help Your Small Business :  Social media is key to helping build your small business. Don’t be intimidated!

Twitter: What Not To Do

So You Want To Plan An Event?:  Event planning 101

Please don’t hesitate reaching out to me if you have some thoughts to add to the discussion or would like some more information. I’m happy to help!

I can’t tell you how much I wrestle with this issue.  As you well know by now, I am not a stay at home mother.  I am a working mother which, to be frank, adds another layer to the guilt cake that I serve up each day.

It is extremely hard not to compare myself to other mothers.  When I see a mother playing with her kids on the playground while I am on my way to a meeting, it is hard not to feel slightly unfit to hold the “mommy” title.  And you can  forget taking time away for myself on top of all of that.  I mean, how dare I? I am already away from them so much as it is, right?  <heavy sigh> Like I said, I wrestle with this issue constantly.  It seems like there is just no way to avoid the trappings of mommy guilt.

I recently read a post by Cara at Land of Bean.  She did a great post (I encourage you to read it!) about being a mom, her need to recharge and guilt.  An excerpt:

“I don’t feel guilty when I leave my daughter. Not for a couple of hours with her father or a trusted family member. And not for a long weekend away.  My time away from my daughter is regenerative for me. I NEED those hours and sometimes days to rediscover my love for being a stay at home mom. Do I miss her? Absolutely. But guilt? No way.

There is no other profession that doesn’t allow for vacation days*. And I see myself as a professional mommy. I don’t just want that time for myself, I DESERVE it. There is no expectation of a full three week vacation each year. I’m not even expecting a whole week, but I do expect some time for myself.”

Go Cara!

You know, I recently read an article in Working Mother Magazine on Anatomy of Guilt by Ilisa Cohen.  While that article was chock full of excellent advice on dealing with the subject, I found one quote particularly thought provoking:

“I don’t believe in guilt. Live on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person. You should live completely free.” – Angelina Jolie.

What do you think about that concept?  Living completely free?  Thinking about it that way, taking time for yourself seems a little bit easier to do.

What are your thoughts?  How do you tackle your own mom (or dad) guilt?

RESOURCE:  Got Mom Guilt?

People often ask me how I “do it all.” Honestly, I’m not really sure how to answer that question.  I know that for me, what I choose to do doesn’t feel like WORK.  It is, well…FUN.  ”Doing it all” in this case is the same as breathing and SMILING.

I recently had a striking conversation with a childhood pal about her passions. She wanted so badly to step out and make her dream a reality.  She is just not happy at this stage of her life.  Now, I’m not exactly qualified to give business advice, being a novice myself, but I do know a couple of things about blazing your own trail and taking a chance.

“The secret of making something work in your life is first of all,
the deep desire to make it work,
then the faith and belief that it can work,
then to hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness
and see it working out step by step,
without one thought of  doubt or disbelief.”
- Eileen Caddy

If there is something you want so badly that you can taste it, then I believe that you owe it to yourself to take a chance.  Just TRY.  Sure you will be scared.  Terrified, even.

Yeah, risks are scary. No doubt about it.  But think of how you will feel if you DON’T make a move.  If you don’t even make an attempt.  Regret is the worst feeling of all.

I encourage you to write down you innermost goals and start your action plan.  Ignore the insecure girl inside of your head and make your own opportunities. Take a risk. Making your dream a reality is so worth it!

RESOURCES

Career girls will appreciate this book: Why Good Girls Don’t Get Ahead But Gutsy Girls Do – Kate White

I am both thrilled and terrified of this fact because, let’s face it, kids need to be entertained and mommy needs to work a little. It is the ultimate battle: Quality childcare I can afford while juggling a client schedule and not neglecting summer fun.  

Summers traditionally are more hectic for me.

I can’t afford camps all summer long, nor do I want to.  I want to play and have fun with the boys while they are still young, but at the same time I have to tackle the work that is expected of me.  What is a mom to do?

It is a juggling act to be sure!

So I’ve tried to be creative with my options for this summer.  I’m thinking that a mixture of babysitter and me working from home as well as a camp or so might do the trick.

I don’t want to bore them to death while I am working from home either. Anyone have any creative ideas? What do you do to entertain the kids while trying to be productive?

Incident number 247 happened yesterday further cementing the fact that I can TRY to position myself as a professional but my children will ALWAYS always find a way to out me.

The setup: (5:30pm) House is quiet.  My husband was home from work sick and sleeping upstairs. The two boys had already eaten and were playing with friends outside.  I am on brief conference call discussing an upcoming project with a rather new business connection.

The following ensues:

WHAM! Doorbell, doorbell, doorbell.  BANG, BANG, BANG!

I whip around to see one son has suddenly appeared inside with a friend and is “rather forcefully” shutting the door thereby leaving another little boy out on the porch who is now obsessively ringing the doorbell and banging on the door.

I wave frantically and menacingly at the kids while the gentleman on the line keeps talking. (The gentleman who, by the way, HAS NO CHILDREN OF HIS OWN.)

Both kids in front of me ignore my menacing I’m-on-the-phone-please-stop-embarrassing-me gestures and proceed to loudly whine thing things like this in unison: “Bobby is being mean to us he won’t LEAVE!   We want to play inside but he won’t go away!  Make him stop! It is not my fault if I don’t want to play with him anymore! Blah, blah, blah…” (And other such nonsense.)

This woman looks all calm and professional. Clearly she does not have children.

Bobby, of course, won’t STOP banging on the FREAKING door.  (Manners, dude?!) So, like an idiot, I open the door (while continuing to chat with the gentleman caller as if nothing were going on) to diffuse the situation and little Bobby forces his way into the house and also ignoring my important-call-phone-gestures starts wailing “Miss Jen I want to come insiiiiiddde! I can come inside if I want! It is a free country!” And then all hell breaks loose in which they all start debating the concept of “free country”  against the counter-argument of “it’s MY house.”  Loud back and forth banter continues between kids and I officially loose the “professional woman” facade.

The chuckling client “let’s me go to deal with the issues and we can talk later.”  Brilliant.

OMG those kids are lucky they are still alive because REALLY!!!??? Did that drama have to unfold RIGHT THEN?  Did they NOT SEE the fact that I was on the phone?  Did I not warn them ahead of time?

Sometimes, I don’t know why I bother.

And then there are the normal days…

Case in point:  We’re out of food.  I worked the entire weekend and didn’t get a chance to go grocery shopping. So I had exactly ZERO to choose from in terms of making the kiddos lunches today.  No bread. No lunchmeat. No juice box.  I didn’t even have any cash to send them to school with to buy their lunches.

SOOOOO…. I had the brilliant idea of  “saving money” and running them into the grocery store before school started to pick up some Lunchables.  Since we were running at a manic pace I told the boys to pick it out at meet me at the counter.

NEVER. DOING. THAT. AGAIN.

$15 later we have their lunches and are on our way to school.  Yeah. Kinda didn’t “save any money.”  I should have scraped up four dollars worth of change instead.

WHY THE HECK ARE CONVENIENT THINGS SO EXPENSIVE, ANYWAY?

I’ll tell you why.  It is because of people like me.  The non-planner-aheaders.  The too-busy-forgot-to-shoppers.

That was one shortcut FAIL.

I do.

I wasn’t always so bold and free, though.  In fact, up until about six months ago, I was shackled by the negative messages playing incessantly in my head.

You see, in a previous employment, I was surrounded by negativity.  There was one (or two) people who, for whatever personal reason, decided that they needed to get into my business (my SPECIALTY) and “muck things up.”  That had a terrible effect on my self confidence.  For months (possibly years) I let them rule my confidence and hamper my self-esteem.  It was life altering, actually. (And no, not in a good way.)

And then a funny thing happened.  I pulled out my resume and gave it a good look.  A REALLY GOOD LOOK.  And you know what?  I’ve got skillz! (Sorry, couldn’t resist!)

I took a good hard look at my accomplishments and my experience and I realized that I had let those Negative Nellies rob me of what I rightfully owned.  Can I say that again? RIGHTFULLY OWNED.

I really hate it when I see that same thing happen to other people because I have BEEN THERE. I know what that is like!  And I refuse to let someone else put me there again. (And I include MYSELF in that category. I’m not allowed to be my own downer anymore.)

So if you are in that same place, I would like to offer the following advice if you will permit me:  Shed the old story.  Truly.  Do not let it define you. View yourself in a different light. Take control of your thoughts and your life and become the YOU that you know you are.

As the fabulous Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Recognize that you are letting SOMEONE ELSE rule your innermost thoughts and banish them from your head.

And although it is a little cheeky, there is some TRUTH to be found in this quote: “I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world.” – Anonymous

Just makes you smile, doesn’t it?

Why?

The Maryland School Assessments are being conducted throughout the state this week.  For teachers, I suppose it is five days of stressful exam situations. But for us parents, it is nirvana.

Well, at least a slice of it.

For me, the working mother, it is a rare slice of serenity in a sea of turbulence.  MSA testing, at least in my school, means no homework. Can you feel my relief?  Not only that but  this week I have found MY VERY OWN OFFSPRING lecture ME about how they need to get to bed early and eat a healthy breakfast. Imagine that!  The school must be really drilling that info in them because it is working miracles in this household, let me tell you.

So for one week, my children come home and the entire family is relaxed and carefree.  There are no homework battles. No papers. No deadlines. It is like a mini-vacation.

I am savoring it.

I’ve just, well, always WORKED. I’ve never had the luxury of staying home full-time.

When the boys were very little I never even entertained the idea of staying home with them.  Financially we couldn’t anyway, but at that time it was more about the fact that my career was my IDENTITY.  I mean, I interviewed celebrities for a living!  Seriously.  My parents joked that I got PAID to go to parties and concerts.  And they were right. My job as bureau chief of Sony Worldwide Networks was essentially to run around the music industry interviewing the Tim McGraws and Shania Twains of the world, talk with them about their latest accomplishments, then head back to the studio and create news stories for radio stations across the country.

Not a bad gig. Was a little challenging on the diet, but overall I wasn’t complaining. You know? (Besides, McGraw was kinda hot and I was diggin’ the free alcohol.)

But the music industry was no place for a young family.  And so my husband and I had to make the first of many tough decisions.

So we moved up North to be closer to the family and times got tougher.  I almost had to begin fresh.  It is a bit hard to translate such an over-the-top job into living-in-the-real-world work (What do you mean, I have no real world experience?  Willie Nelson offered me a joint!  Doesn’t that count for anything?) that pays well.  Especially since I ended up at a non-profit.  Not the most brilliant career move, salary wise, but I had a passion for the work and I was close to the kid’s school.  My boys loved it there though.  (Okay. They were spoiled.  I admit it. They were mini-gangstas and it was their ‘hood.)

When it comes to work, I have moved around a bit since that time, giving up opportunities here, finding my own opportunities there and overall working hard to try to find the perfect balance of family, money and career fulfillment.  Not nearly as easy as it sounds! (Can I get a holla?) Jobs might present themselves but they would be hours away and completely un-doable for our schedule.  (Is that even a word? Un-doable? Did I just make that up?)

It is through these experiences that I have come to realize that it is not about the job or how cool it sounds or the deadlines. (Because in my field, there are always looming deadlines.) It is about how I choose to react to the situations that are presented to me.  As good as the job might be, I have to always take my family into consideration when making a decision.

Not to mention all of those Murphy’s Law “mom moments.”  I can’t tell you how many times I have been perfectly pulled together for a board meeting and suddenly had a kid spill chocolate milk on my white blouse.  Or worse – being hit by a projectile potty accident from a training toddler. (shudder) To this day my little ones still manage to put me back in my place when I am feeling a tad over confident.  I think it is God’s way of making sure that realize that I don’t have any REAL control over my life.  Just in case I happen to have any illusions to the contrary.

It is in those uncontrollable moments, when I have been hit in the leg with projectile urine or I reach into my purse and pull out mysterious green slime, that I laugh at how far I have come.  Yeah, maybe I used to interview celebrities and stay in ritzy hotels, but it is how I deal with the real life “mom moments,” that define me.  And I wouldn’t trade that opportunity for all the back stage passes in the world.

Does that sound “over the top” to you? Or maybe even ridiculously unnecessary?  Because, well, I’m just a mom blogger, right?

WRONG.

Yes, I am a mom blogger. AND  a professional.  AND a wife, friend, daughter, relative, community activist and volunteer.  And because I live out loud and on line, I would be wise to control of my personal brand.  And so should YOU be.  The repercussions could be staggering.

The modern concept of personal branding is essentially a summation of how you are presenting yourself online.  Your personal brand is made up of all of the messaging sent out online via status reports, news, blog posts & comments, profiles on social networks, images, videos and personal websites.  Essentially, it is content of ANY KIND that connects to you.

Guard your brand carefully.  Be intentional about how you are presenting yourself in the world.

Your social messages reveal to the word the reality of your character, your  intentions, your wants,  thoughts, and  needs.  You must  make sure the messages you are sending are the ones you want. Cyber footprints never go away. Only put out “there” messages that you would be happy for the world to receive.  (Would your mother wash your mouth out with soap if she saw that Tweet?)

Now, you might be vehemently disagreeing with me right now. I know many of us use Twitter and Facebook to vent and “let loose.”  I’m not suggesting that you loose your personality or that you to censor yourself as if the Pope were watching, I’m just suggesting that you keep in mind future opportunities:

• That business that you would like to sponsor you for a conference one day.
• That company looking for a brand representative.
• That audience hoping to find a blog where they can relate.
• That future employer silently monitoring cyberspace.
• That school official approving your volunteer application.

Don’t turn them off with careless messaging.

Each of us is our own brand.  So, what kind of a brand are YOU? Do you work well with others or are you complicated and cranky?  Do you bring your drama with you?

Image is unavoidable, gang. If you have an online presence, people are making assumptions and forming opinions about you. It is that simple.  They are putting you into categories. That is life.  The conclusion they reach from these opinions constitutes your image, whether you like it or not.

So next time you sit down to fire off that nasty tweet, give it a quick thought before you hit “send.”  Is it consistent with what you want the world to know about you?