Sarah Pinnix, mom of three girls, has been blogging since 2007 at Real Life . In 2008, she founded High Country Mom Squad ,  a northwest NC online magazine for moms. After a few years of private social media marketing consulting, she transitioned to working outside the home, as Social Media Marketing Specialist at international relief organization, Samaritan’s Purse.

 Over the years, how have you learned to balance career and motherhood?

 I think it will always be a learning process for me. Our family is always going through some sort of transition, whether it be changing jobs, starting kindergarten, extra-curricular activities, or myriad other scenarios.  The key has been to keep the communication lines open with my husband, and constantly re-evaluate how we do things, what’s working, and what we need to change. If I look at it as a constantly developing process, I can avoid going out of my mind.

 Is there one particular parenting lesson you’ve learned about raising kids?

 Hmmm… maybe just one. And it is that each child requires a different approach.  Really helpful, right? Learning your child love language (Book: The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman), can help you meet their needs the way they can receive best. I have a story about how using my daughters love language to change the way I brush her hair miraculously made it hurt less.  It’s the little things.

Battling stress? Any advice?

 Lists.  When I’m really stressed, I make a list of everything that’s stressing me.  If I can do something about an item, I plan the action I will take.  If I can’t do anything about it, I accept that fact and move on.  Oh, also… get your hormones checked, and consider medication. (Only half-kidding) 

 Tools or products you can’t live without?

 I admit I’ve only done it for this month, but I am in love with www.OnceaMonthMom.com.  Cooking one day per month, I have enough meals to feed my family before 7 PM every night! She provides the menu, shopping list, recipes, and instructions, and you just have to give over 8-10 hours of your life.  But now, I come home from work knowing that dinner is a “reheat” away. 

 Do you have an inspirational quote, motto or philosophy you can share with us?

 My favorite Scripture is Jeremiah 29: 11-13, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

 Favorite resources, books, or website? 

 Since I’ve recently started working outside the home, I’ve found a lot of resources on www.BlueSuitMom.com. My all time favorite resource, though is Twitter. It seems that someone will have a solution for just about every problem I have.

 What have you been up to lately?

I recently vlogged my first time doing Once a Month Cooking on Facebook , and I plan to upload quick videos on my blog to chronicle my going to work at the office. If you have any advice, or you just want to laugh at my inadequacies, come on over!

 Connect with her:

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/reallifesarah
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reallifeblog
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/reallifesarah
Websites and blogs: http://www.reallifeblog.net, http://www.highcountrymomsquad.com

Do you make THE LIST?

Surely you know what I am talking about. I can’t be the only one.

I was watching the trailer for Sarah Jessica Parker’s new movie “I Don’t Know How She Does It” and was struck by how similar our lives seemed. (Except for the whole living in Manhattan and looking stunning in business clothes because I am a size zero part. Because that is so not my reality.)

I confess that I laughed out loud when she described her nightly ritual of  forgoing sleep in order to make “THE LIST.” I do the same thing every single night. THE. SAME. EXACT. THING. In fact MY list making has gotten so out of hand that I now have a mini three ring binder with tabs labeled for work, family and blogging on my nightstand.

Many a night I find myself bolting out of a deep slumber to log something new in it’s appropriate tab. Over-the-top? Obsessive? Slightly pathetic? Maybe. But it is the glue that keeps this frantic working momma together. Without it… I am lost.

A sampling of what is in my binder right now:

Fess up! Anyone else use make “THE LIST” at night? What is on yours?

Children? What children? Do I have CHILDREN?

Yesterday I had a day chock full of activity: New intern in the office. Meeting with my business partner. Meeting with a client. Skype meeting with another client. Proposal to complete. Annual report to finish. And so on and so on…

I didn’t even THINK ABOUT MY CHILDREN until 3:30 in the afternoon. Truly. I went a full 6 1/2 hours without them even entering into my mind.

Just what kind of a mother AM I anyway?

I suppose that I could look on the bright side and cite that my lack of concern was a testament to the quality of our babysitter.

Or was it?

What if it is just a sign of my being a heinous human being? I swear sometimes  I thank God that I no longer have small babies because I am not entirely convinced that I wouldn’t forget them in a grocery cart or leave them at the bank or something equally as ridiculous as that.

There is that part of me that feels like something is off in my motherly DNA. Why am I not as obsessively worried about them anymore? Is it a sign of their increasing growth and independence or my increasing self-absorbance?

Am I just too caught up in my work?

Is this normal?

Should I be stripped of my motherly title and all of the benefits contained therein? (Cough. “Benefits”) Anyone else ever experience something like this?

According to a new study of working mothers (conducted by iVillage and TODAY.com) the “2011 Moms At Work Survey” found that salary outranks the desire for family-friendly benefits when it comes to job priorities – with 97% of working moms surveyed saying that salary is most important to them (Duh! I could have told you that), followed by a family-friendly work environment (91%), job enjoyment (91%), flexible hours (86%), a short commute (83%) and health insurance for the family (81%).

Some interesting tidbits – Eight out of ten working mothers polled are earning at least half or more of their household’s income. (Girl power!) More than two-thirds (68%) of working moms reported they are still responsible for most of the household chores — clearly illustrating that today’s working mother is spending her life on double duty, with increased responsibilities at the office and at home. (What is the news here? I think we all know this. Who isn’t pulling double or triple duty these days?)

The study also found:

• Although 90% of working moms feel tired and stressed, over 85% feel happy and proud. (I get the “happy and proud” idea but mostly I am just damn tired. Admittedly, a glass of wine at the end of the day usually elevates my mood to “happy” so there is that.)

• All moms, whether they are working or not, continue to be responsible for the majority of the household chores. In two-thirds of dual working families, moms are responsible for 75% or more of all the household chores, with 97% of those surveyed responsible for half or more of the duties in the house. (If I comment further on this question I may end up divorced so let’s just say… “I concur.”)

• 68% of women polled would trade in their executive assistant for an assistant at home. (Not that I personally have one but yes, in a heartbeat! How the hell am I supposed to keep up with their school and sport schedules as well as fight boy germs in the bathroom?)
  

• Women aren’t receiving a passing grade when it comes to healthy habits. 77% agree that juggling work and family makes it hard to live a healthy lifestyle with close to 25% of moms reporting that they are not allowed to get sick! (Isn’t this obvious?)

• While the good news is that 59% of women surveyed are satisfied with the amount of time spent with their children, almost half, 47%, are not satisfied with the amount of time spent keeping fit/healthy. (For me it is either working out at 4:30am or after 8pm. Who has the energy for THAT?)
  

• 23% of working moms polled would welcome increased support from friends and family, and 41% want more support from their husband/partner to make their lives easier. (Again… no comment. I just wish my mom lived closer.)

• Merely 3 out of 10 women are happy with the amount of time they are able to spend alone with their partners once out of the office. (See my 40 before 40 list… spending more time with hubby is on there.)

• Today’s working mom is more mobile than ever before! 67% of working moms rely on their smart phone to make their lives easier. (Seriously! My husband is actually jealous of the amount of time I spend with mine. It is like a personal assistant or hunky pool boy. Hmm… maybe I should give it a name?)
  

Due to circumstances way beyond my control (read: freak weather and a very, very, very important work meeting that couldn’t be rescheduled) I was forced to do something radical with my children…

Put them in charge of getting themselves off to school while I was at work.

This is not something they had ever done before.  It was not something I was comfortable with. But we had no choice.

I made them breakfast, helped them get their things together, called my husband and neighbor so they could be checked on, set the oven timer and then… I left them. And I prayed. (No worries, folks. Everything worked out fine and in fact, they now want me to leave early more often. Naturally.)

It seems like lately things have sprung up that have created some interesting childcare dilemmas for me. A school delay here. A rescheduled meeting there.

It just really brings that bad mommy guilt on. You know what I mean?

Ugh.

I’m just so incredibly thankful that my kids are old enough that I can begin to trust them alone for small periods of time.

But what about all of  those other women out there who have smaller children or have to leave their children alone on a regular basis? Talk about tough childcare/career decisions!

My own journey into entreprenuership began because a female CEO (a mother herself) brought me into a closed door meeting one day and told me in no uncertain terms that she “expected more time from her employees.”  At that point I was working 50 hours a week and my boys were six and seven years old. One had been undergoing testing for short-term memory issues and learning disabilities. I guess the fact that I had been shuffling my work schedule around aggravated her.

So… I quit. Because what it came down to was the fact that  she was making me choose between being with my family or work.

And that is a pretty easy choice, don’t you think?

I reached out to some of my other working friends in the blogosphere to get their input on being a working mother:

“I have been working from home since 2004 and the past two years I have had tremendous mommy guilt, and it was mainly due for working 70+ hour weeks. While I don’t feel guilty about working, I’m proud to show my children that I’m following my dreams, and encouraging them to do the same in life, but I feel guilty for such long hours. The biggest decision for me was quitting my job this January to find more balance and focus on building my business instead just working for someone else. This way I can feel less guilty, because I am building a legacy for my children.” – Katja Presnal, Skimbaco Lifestyle

” I became a stay at home mom upon the birth of my daughter to avoid working mom guilt. Also, my mom works full time and although I had a stay at home dad (priceless!), I still missed her terribly, especially when she worked evenings and missed banquets, softball games, etc. When I began working from home, I hoped to find the best of both worlds, and some days I have that. But other times I struggle to keep the lines from blurring. When your office is in your home, it can be all too easy to neglect time with the kids for time with clients. I know that the money I earn is providing a nice life for them, and the fact is that they aren’t getting dropped off at daycare in the dark and picked up from daycare in the dark – I appreciate that – but I still struggle with the guilt. I suppose that no matter what our choice, we’ll all feel torn in some way or another.” - Amy Lupold Bair, Resourceful Mommy

“Six years ago, I started working full time out of the home. I hated it and felt so guilty leaving the girls. When I was home, we’d spend as much time together as we could. I made sure I was off for every performance. The tough times were when they were sick and I had to work. I eventually quit because the stress wasn’t worth the few dollars I made.” – Gena Morris, The Morris Bunch

” I dealt with my working mom guilt by quitting working for other people. Now I make the schedule and I make the workplace rules. If I want to go to a school play or take the family on a mini-vacation in the summer, I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission.” – Amy Bradley – Hole, The Bee Dot

Resource: Dealing With Working Moms Guilt, Whether You Love or Hate Your Job