Due to circumstances way beyond my control (read: freak weather and a very, very, very important work meeting that couldn’t be rescheduled)I was forced to do something radical with my children…
Put them in charge of getting themselves off to school while I was at work.
This is not something they had ever done before. It was not something I was comfortable with. But we had no choice.
I made them breakfast, helped them get their things together, called my husband and neighbor so they could be checked on, set the oven timer and then… I left them. And I prayed.(No worries, folks. Everything worked out fine and in fact, they now want me to leave early more often. Naturally.)
It seems like lately things have sprung up that have created some interesting childcare dilemmas for me. A school delay here. A rescheduled meeting there.
It just really brings that bad mommy guilt on. You know what I mean?
Ugh.
I’m just so incredibly thankful that my kids are old enough that I can begin to trust them alone for small periods of time.
But what about all of those other women out there who have smaller children or have to leave their children alone on a regular basis? Talk about tough childcare/career decisions!
My own journey into entreprenuership began because a female CEO (a mother herself) brought me into a closed door meeting one day and told me in no uncertain terms that she “expected more time from her employees.” At that point I was working 50 hours a week and my boys were six and seven years old. One had been undergoing testing for short-term memory issues and learning disabilities. I guess the fact that I had been shuffling my work schedule around aggravated her.
So… I quit. Because what it came down to was the fact that she was making me choose between being with my family or work.
And that is a pretty easy choice, don’t you think?
I reached out to some of my other working friends in the blogosphere to get their input on being a working mother:
“I have been working from home since 2004 and the past two years I have had tremendous mommy guilt, and it was mainly due for working 70+ hour weeks. While I don’t feel guilty about working, I’m proud to show my children that I’m following my dreams, and encouraging them to do the same in life, but I feel guilty for such long hours. The biggest decision for me was quitting my job this January to find more balance and focus on building my business instead just working for someone else. This way I can feel less guilty, because I am building a legacy for my children.” – Katja Presnal, Skimbaco Lifestyle
” I became a stay at home mom upon the birth of my daughter to avoid working mom guilt. Also, my mom works full time and although I had a stay at home dad (priceless!), I still missed her terribly, especially when she worked evenings and missed banquets, softball games, etc. When I began working from home, I hoped to find the best of both worlds, and some days I have that. But other times I struggle to keep the lines from blurring. When your office is in your home, it can be all too easy to neglect time with the kids for time with clients. I know that the money I earn is providing a nice life for them, and the fact is that they aren’t getting dropped off at daycare in the dark and picked up from daycare in the dark – I appreciate that – but I still struggle with the guilt. I suppose that no matter what our choice, we’ll all feel torn in some way or another.” -Amy Lupold Bair, Resourceful Mommy
“Six years ago, I started working full time out of the home. I hated it and felt so guilty leaving the girls. When I was home, we’d spend as much time together as we could. I made sure I was off for every performance. The tough times were when they were sick and I had to work. I eventually quit because the stress wasn’t worth the few dollars I made.” – Gena Morris, The Morris Bunch
” I dealt with my working mom guilt by quitting working for other people. Now I make the schedule and I make the workplace rules. If I want to go to a school play or take the family on a mini-vacation in the summer, I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission.” – Amy Bradley – Hole, The Bee Dot
On Saturday night I found myself completely out of my element.
Instead of spending the evening with my family in some sort of testosterone-fueled activity, I was childless and wearing heels (!) and attending a local ADDY Awards Gala. (What in the world is an ADDY Awards Gala, you ask? “The ADDY Awards honor excellence in advertising and cultivates the highest creative standards in the industry.” Got all that? Ahem. Moving on…)
As I was saying, I was all childless and dressed up and surrounded by brilliant, beautiful and creative people who were being, well, brilliant, beautiful and creative.
Intimidated? Why yes, thank you very much.
BUT, I had a great time. And mingled with some amazing people.
AND…
All photos taken by Mary Kate McKenna Photography
Two projects we (my business partner Amy & I) worked on even managed to bring in a little ADDY Award bling thanks to Megan (aka “Alice”) from Think Baseline’s talent. Pictures (from top left): Me and my man, Amy & I , brilliance from the crowd and the girls of the Garden at 147 (Mary Kate, Amy, Megan & I) with the awards.
It was such an exciting night for everyone. Indeed, you could say it was my own little version of the Oscars sans the musical numbers, awkward pauses and near wardrobe malfunctions. (Although, to be fair, I did catch my heel in the stage and nearly wipe out descending the stairs. So at least I wasn’t THAT much out of my element.)
Stacey Marsh may seem no different then you or I. She is working mother juggling two busy daughters (Megan and Madison) a husband and a household. And, oh yeah, there is that other thing: Marsh is also founder and president of Flatout Flatbread.
I LOVE Flatout Flatbread. Therefore, I love Stacey Marsh.
I got the chance to meet her while in New York City at BlogHer. I was invited to do a walk sponsored by the brand. When I met Stacey and got a chance to talk with her, the momprenuer in me was inspired.
Driven by her desire to “invent a food,” Stacey literally worked night and day to make it happen, even going on sales calls with her six month old daughter in her arms. In the past 10 years, Flatout has not only flourished into a national brand but has also become one of the fastest growing specialty breads in America.
Wow!
I recently spoke with Stacey about being a mom entrepreneur. One part of that interview can be found on my Washington Times blog “Hip As YOU Wanna Be.”
Here she shares some of her working mom tips with us:
Battling stress? Any advice?
Deal with things fast and make quick decisions. Start and finish projects as soon as you can and keep your “to- do” list short and current.
Additionally, have great partners – people you can rely on and trust. But don’t be afraid to tell it straight and never hold back on how you feel. It is much easier to deal with issues directly.
Last and most important for me, involve your family. I travel with my daughters whenever we can. They get to go on business trips with me. Were we all in New York a couple of weeks ago and did a Flatout walk with bloggers. It made our trip into a mini vacation!
Best advice for other working moms?
Be proud of what you do. If you don’t have a passion for what you do, change jobs! I think working in a situation you love makes you a better mom and wife. You’re “in the game” and your enthusiasm is infectious. Share that with your family.
Tools or products you can’t live without?
I use e-mail, texting and my iPhone to be able find extra time in the day to keep projects going and make decisions.
I know that I am a quote girl. Do you have an inspirational quote or motto you can share?
“Never look back and say what if…” – Mom and Dad
Favorite book or website?
My own blog site, FlatoutFresh.com! Social media has connected me with so many great moms and bloggers. The recent trip to New York where I met 20 bloggers brought me to a new level of authentic, real communication with people who engage with my brand every day. That’s something I could never have imagined just two, three years ago. It’s awesome!
I’m so excited to share with you my Yahoo! Shine You.Reinvented interview!
Yahoo! was at BlogHer talking about reinvention and I had the opportunity to sit down with them and talk about my personal journey:
I must confess, I really don’t like myself on video. I am highly critical of everything (!) especially my tendency to assume the I-talk-way-too-fast-because-I-am-nervous persona. Ahh, well.
This week I am starting a new series on advice from working mothers. I figure, who better to learn from then the women who have gone before us or are working in the trenches with us every day?
Cora has authored three cookbooks, serves as the executive chef of Bon Appetit, is owner of a restaurant at Disney World and is in the process of opening up a new eatery in San Francisco. She has four boys and travels approximately 200 days out of the year. Her mantra? “Go big or go home!”
“Remember that you’re setting a great example for your kids. It can seem like you never have enough time for your family and friends-and that you always have guilt- but we’re all in it together. And our kids are better off for it. Make sure you take at least 20 minutes to be with your family at dinner. It’s sacred time.”
On guilt:
“My kids don’t always want me to go away, but they understand it. I explain in a kid-friendly way that I’m traveling so we can pay for our house and toys and so they can go to camp. I communicate with them, but I still have guilt. I try to focus on the positive, like the fact that I’m setting an example of being out there, following your dreams, being a good citizen. I know in my heart I’m doing the right thing for our family. And I know that I am where I am today because of the role model my mom was.”
Working momma. Flibbertigibbet. Family environs upkeep manager. Deadline juggler. Intellectual magpie... Random postings from a life of a working DC Metro mom. Unapologetically myself.
It just really brings that bad mommy guilt on. You know what I mean?
