Due to circumstances way beyond my control (read: freak weather and a very, very, very important work meeting that couldn’t be rescheduled) I was forced to do something radical with my children…

Put them in charge of getting themselves off to school while I was at work.

This is not something they had ever done before.  It was not something I was comfortable with. But we had no choice.

I made them breakfast, helped them get their things together, called my husband and neighbor so they could be checked on, set the oven timer and then… I left them. And I prayed. (No worries, folks. Everything worked out fine and in fact, they now want me to leave early more often. Naturally.)

It seems like lately things have sprung up that have created some interesting childcare dilemmas for me. A school delay here. A rescheduled meeting there.

It just really brings that bad mommy guilt on. You know what I mean?

Ugh.

I’m just so incredibly thankful that my kids are old enough that I can begin to trust them alone for small periods of time.

But what about all of  those other women out there who have smaller children or have to leave their children alone on a regular basis? Talk about tough childcare/career decisions!

My own journey into entreprenuership began because a female CEO (a mother herself) brought me into a closed door meeting one day and told me in no uncertain terms that she “expected more time from her employees.”  At that point I was working 50 hours a week and my boys were six and seven years old. One had been undergoing testing for short-term memory issues and learning disabilities. I guess the fact that I had been shuffling my work schedule around aggravated her.

So… I quit. Because what it came down to was the fact that  she was making me choose between being with my family or work.

And that is a pretty easy choice, don’t you think?

I reached out to some of my other working friends in the blogosphere to get their input on being a working mother:

“I have been working from home since 2004 and the past two years I have had tremendous mommy guilt, and it was mainly due for working 70+ hour weeks. While I don’t feel guilty about working, I’m proud to show my children that I’m following my dreams, and encouraging them to do the same in life, but I feel guilty for such long hours. The biggest decision for me was quitting my job this January to find more balance and focus on building my business instead just working for someone else. This way I can feel less guilty, because I am building a legacy for my children.” – Katja Presnal, Skimbaco Lifestyle

” I became a stay at home mom upon the birth of my daughter to avoid working mom guilt. Also, my mom works full time and although I had a stay at home dad (priceless!), I still missed her terribly, especially when she worked evenings and missed banquets, softball games, etc. When I began working from home, I hoped to find the best of both worlds, and some days I have that. But other times I struggle to keep the lines from blurring. When your office is in your home, it can be all too easy to neglect time with the kids for time with clients. I know that the money I earn is providing a nice life for them, and the fact is that they aren’t getting dropped off at daycare in the dark and picked up from daycare in the dark – I appreciate that – but I still struggle with the guilt. I suppose that no matter what our choice, we’ll all feel torn in some way or another.” - Amy Lupold Bair, Resourceful Mommy

“Six years ago, I started working full time out of the home. I hated it and felt so guilty leaving the girls. When I was home, we’d spend as much time together as we could. I made sure I was off for every performance. The tough times were when they were sick and I had to work. I eventually quit because the stress wasn’t worth the few dollars I made.” – Gena Morris, The Morris Bunch

” I dealt with my working mom guilt by quitting working for other people. Now I make the schedule and I make the workplace rules. If I want to go to a school play or take the family on a mini-vacation in the summer, I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission.” – Amy Bradley – Hole, The Bee Dot

Resource: Dealing With Working Moms Guilt, Whether You Love or Hate Your Job

Tags: motherhood, Tough Decisions, work, working mom woes

My husband is a good man. He puts up with A LOT.  But he and I are opposite in so many ways.

He is a DETAIL MAN.  An everything-has-a-place-man. An if-you-put-things-right-back-where-you-found-them-we-wouldn’t-have-this-problem-kind-of-man. I am NOT. I try. But I am more of a free spirit when it comes to organization, especially when it comes to housework. And, of course, my husband is essentially right. (Albeit in a housework-utopian-society-kind-of-way.) But, try as I might, there is always SOMETHING that comes up to thwart my efforts.

Let’s go on a journey through 10 minutes of the mess and chaos of my life shall we?

Take, for an example, a pair of my running shoes that has not yet made it back into the closet. According to my husband’s logic, I should have been able to take them off my feet and toss them into the closet. Err, I mean, lay them gently into the designated running shoe cubby that he has labeled for me. Yeah.

So here is what happened instead. I took them off of my feet.  At that precise moment, my son yelled dramatically from the other room. I sprint over to him and find that he and his brother are pounding each other over a Light Bright design. I settle the argument and notice hundreds of Light Bright pieces all over the floor. Crap. (Their father WILL NOT be amused by that.) So we make a game of it and pick them up. In the middle of that the phone rings. It is my friend reminding me it is my turn to bring snack to soccer. Double crap. I run down the stairs to see if I even have something that would qualify as a snack. Nope. Put it on the list of things to do. I then notice the laundry is finished. I put a new load in and take the other out and begin folding it. Kids come running downstairs and want a drink. I get them a drink. They spill juice everywhere and I attempt to clean it up and make a mental note to mop after they go to bed. I begin emptying the dish washer because I can’t even put the juice cups away due to the overflowing sink with dirty dishes in it. I am halfway through this task when hubby comes home.

So this is what my husband sees: Kitchen a mess. Sticky floor. Laundry strewn everywhere. Light Bright pieces not picked up. (Because they decided to dump them out again while I wasn’t looking.) And then, of course, he tripped over my shoes. Yeah, THOSE shoes. The ones that should have been put away as soon as I took them off my feet.

And then he says…. “Jen. Why don’t you ever put anything away?”

Tags: cleaning, motherhood, never put things away, unrealistic expectations

The times, they are a changin’ for us moms. Gone are the days when we could arrive on the scene sans makeup, clad on in a stained t-shirt, un-matching pants and a hat.  Oh yes, those days are long gone.  There is a new standard – perfection.

Truthfully, I blame the recent wave of celebumoms. I am talking about the likes of Victoria Beckham, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, and Heidi Klum…  They’re beautiful, they’re hip and they have taken motherhood by storm.  These lovely ladies pop kids out and show up on the scene four weeks later with a flat stomach, manicured nails and a fabulous new hairstyle.  In short, they look like they took a vacation instead of an intense experience with labor and delivery.

Was there an option I missed when I had my babies? A “platinum” package or something that was offered to expectant moms?  Because apparently, when filling out my hospital admission forms, I checked the wrong box.  No one ever asked me, “Mrs. Gerlock, would you like the luxury-spa-delivery-option or the you’ll-never-be-the-same-again delivery experience?”  I don’t know.  Maybe they did and I just misinterpreted the second option.  I recall being in a bit of pain at the time…  Perhaps I wasn’t paying close attention.

Given the public’s obsession with all things celebrity, we mothers now find ourselves having to endure countless images on television, in magazines and on the internet of sexy celebumoms with their perfect children clad in designer clothing attending spectacular events.  A very difficult standard for most of us in the real world to live up to.

I don’t know about you, but the last time I felt sexy was in 1994 and that was prior to having children. As for the designer clothing, in my family that would be Target.  Seriously.  I have boys.  Boys go through clothes like I go through chocolate bars.  And for the record, we don’t attend major functions all that much due to the fact that my offspring feel compelled to mortify me at any given opportunity.  No worries, I’ll get them back.  Wait until they are teenagers, I have a plan.

It is not a secret that celebrity moms don’t do it alone.  They have an army of employees at their beck and call – personal trainers, chefs, nannies, housekeepers, assistants, you name it.  What I want to know is how some “normal” moms seem to be doing it also. I see fabulous mommies everywhere now.  Everywhere.  It is a horrifying trend.

There are fab mommies at the park.  Hip mommies on the PTA, and let’s not even discuss the ones who are bikini clad at the pool. Who are these women, where did they come from and how do they look so pulled together?

In light of this new ultra cool mommy movement, I am going to have to rethink my own approach.  Seriously, I have no style.  How can I compete?  I basically pick up random clothing wherever I might be at the moment. Usually it is somewhere like WalMart, Costco or JC Penny.  Hey, if it is semi-cute, under $10, and within an arm’s length– it’s mine!

I just don’t have time to be picky anymore.  Have you tried wardrobe shopping with two small boys?  It can’t be done without loosing your sanity.  The upside of this strategy is that when the inevitable happens, meaning when one of my children pukes on me, I’m not all that upset about it.  Just toss the shirt out and go.

In short, I can offer no explanation for the fabulous mom phenomenon.  Personally, I think they are all just faking it. That is what I’ve decided to believe.  It makes me feel better, anyway.

Tags: beautiful, celebrity, cool, designer, fabulous, hip, Mommy Mania, motherhood, PTA, puke, Really Random