I feel like my children are obsessed with me dying. Actually, scratch that. I feel like my children are obsessed with the the way in which I want to die.  Or maybe they are just curious?  Or maybe they need psychological help?  Or maybe they are plotting something?

It seems like every time I turn around they are asking me bizarre random questions about my  untimely demise.  It usually goes something like this:

BOYS:  So, mom.  Would you rather die from a shark attack at sea,  be thrown into a vat of lava or fall into a pit of snakes?

ME:  Err…. none?

BOYS:  C’mon, mom. You have to choose something!

ME:  Okay, then. I guess lava because it is quicker.

BOYS:  Would you rather be eaten by a dinosaur or killed by a Jedi lightsabor?

ME:  I don’t know. Why?

BOYS:  JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, MOM!

ME:  Dinosaur.

BOYS:  How about a million killer bee stings?  Or a giant wall of fire?

ME:  Oh for heaven’s sake!

BOYS:  What?

This kind of thing happens all the time.  They think up the most ridiculous situations and give me a preference between the two.  Which makes me wonder….  Are they plotting against me? Am I in danger, here?

The next time I say no to iCarly on a school night should I look over my shoulder for a dinosaur or a swarm of killer bees?

Or is it all some kind of pre-pubescent male mommy mind trick?

Call me crazy but I am beginning to feel like perhaps we should seek family counseling.