“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is
just the place and time that the tide will turn. “

~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

I distinctly remember walking down the street that night feeling utter despair.

I couldn’t even bring myself to cry.

I had no one to turn to and no friends left. The memory of the loneliest night of my life and the emptiness that I felt still haunts me.

You see, I had been passionately in love (read: obsessed) with a man for five years. I had molded my entire life around him. His interests, his passions… his friends. I altered my appearance to keep his attention. (He had a thing for uber-skinny red heads.) I even attending the same college so that we could be close together. I wanted nothing more than to be his everything. To tame the “bad boy” like some sort of sappy heroine in a romance novel.

I completely lost my identity.

When I found out that he had been with other women throughout our entire relationship, I was devastated.

I suddenly realized that without him, I had no idea who I was. I had been a character in his play for so long that I lost sight of my true self. When our relationship ended I found myself friendless. Most of the people I had been surrounded with knew about his actions and I was not the least bit interested in keeping them in my life.

I was in so much pain and truly uncertain of myself without him. My future looked bleak.

Except that it wasn’t. I just didn’t know it at the time. A scant eight months later I was living in another state with the man that would become my husband.

Many people let their feelings of despair consume their lives and rob them of the joy that is rightfully theirs. I could have succumbed to my emotions. I could have let it consume me  and missed out on the opportunity for a new beautiful relationship with my future husband.

But I didn’t.

I held on (we’re talking white knuckle grip here people) and had faith and trusted in God’s plan for my life.

Ready for a little unsolicited advice? If you are in a dark place and feel as if you will never emerge, set your sights on the future and trust in Him. There may seem like NO WAY OUT. You may not see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there. Take it from one who knows.  Just white knuckle your way out of there…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  – Jeremiah 29:11

Tags: advice, despair, God, Harriet Beecher Stowe, in a dark place, Lord, relationships

I WANT people to like me.

Always have.

I’m what you would call a “goody-two shoes.” I’m pretty much always positive, always smiling, a glass half full, cheerleader kind of girl. I try not to think ill of anyone and always give the benefit of the doubt…ALWAYS.

I know, you can barf now if you need too. I’ll wait.

Anywho… lately I have been dealing with someone who I just can’t get to like me. Infuriating! Now, I am not naive enough to expect she and I are going to be best pals or anything like that, I just am having a hard time accepting her obvious, shall we say… “lack of enthusiasm” in regards to interacting with me.

The other day we had a conversation on the phone where apparently she was under the impression she was speaking with a different Jennifer. When I corrected her … her voice fell. (!) The enthusiasm was GONE. Long gone. It was so obvious that I almost laughed out loud. Really?! Am I THAT bad?

Can anyone else relate to this situation?

I’ve decided that instead of angsting over her view of me, I will instead use it as a life lesson. Oh sure, I could probably fawn all over her and perhaps earn some small “likability” factor in her mind… but why?

You can’t make everyone happy and you can’t make everyone like you. So why waste your energy trying?

I will continue to be kind to her and accept the fact that we won’t be friends or enemies. We’ll just BE.

You can’t win ‘em all, right?

Tags: musings, relationships, why won't you like me?, women