Not in a stalker kind of way but in an ohmygoshithinkiamembarrassingmyself (?) kind of way.

It is frightening.  You know what I kind of wish?

I wish I didn’t know you.  Okay, well, many of you I DON’T. But still.

Many of you I DO.  And that is exactly why I worry.

Because, really. What do you think of me?  (Seriously, don’t answer that.) I wonder this sometimes.

I mean, I love that many of my friends read this blog.  I also hate that many of my friends read this blog. I guess it is because I wonder if I am truly entertaining or engaging or worth your time?  Or what if I am something WORSE?  What if you are thinking to yourself, “Sheesh. I can’t BELIEVE she wrote that.  I would never tell people that about my life. She is making a total ass out of herself. Somebody should tell her.”

So, is there something that you want to tell me people?

I’m not trying to beg for compliments here…. you are misunderstanding me.  It is just that I DO sometimes try to be entertaining and other times I try to be inspiring.  Other times I just share frustrations.

I guess that a small part of me is that insecure teenager who really wants to be cool and be liked and hopes that she is acting like she knows what she is doing when really she is flying by the seat of her pants and pretending that she knows her way around the school.  NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.

Does any of this make any sense to anybody?

Why did I write this particular blog post, anyway? Just trying to be honest,  I guess.